Da Razor Show
by Nepezi. Kitten Extraordinaire
Summary: Remake of the original, makes fun of anything and everything
1. Chapter 1

**Da Razor Show**

**Chapter One**

Spike woke up, stretched his arms and slowly turned around before walking out of his room. "Razor, why is there a camera in my room?" Spike asked his older brother who lay on their couch watching TV.

"I signed a contract for another show." Razor replied.

"Oh yes because it went so well the first time." Spike said sarcastically.

"It's not my fault people like that exist." Razor snapped.

"Man, Shadow is gonna be pissed." Spike sighed.

"You know me too well to know I can't resist torturing Perfect's favorite character." Razor said. "And that is why, author powers." Razor added. Spike disappeared as he screamed every curse he could think of at Razor. "Oh yeah, I got my author powers back." Razor said.

* * *

Sonic awoke and got out of bed to realize that his walls were a lot further from his bed than usual. He looked around and saw a lot of movement in the darkness. "Shit." Sonic sighed before realizing that he hadn't said 'shoot'. "SHIT!" he screamed as the stage was lit up and the crowd became visible. "RAZOR!" All sound stopped and Razor appeared in front of Sonic.

"Yes?" he asked. Sonic grabbed him by the collar and held him close.

"Did you bring me here to torture me again?" Sonic growled. Razor snapped his fingers before disappearing in a puff of smoke. Sonic heard a creak and looked up. He didn't even need to look down to know that he had been super-glued to the floor. "Please let it be less painful the second time around." Sonic prayed before being crushed by a three thousand ton weight.

* * *

Shadow walked down the street before pausing and shooting a Chaos Spear behind him. "You've learned." Razor commented as he straightened himself.

"What do you want?" Shadow growled.

"I think the question is, what do you want? And I know the answer is not this." Razor replied as they reappeared on the stage next to the giant weight. Shadow held out his fist as he saw the weight to which Razor answered with a fist-bump. Razor snapped his fingers and Shadow went wide-eyed.

"MARIA!" he screamed.

"That was one of my favorite parts of the first one." Razor commented.

"MARIA!" Shadow screamed.

* * *

"Now, where is my next victim?" Razor asked himself as he looked around the park.

"Razor!" he heard a delighted voice cry.

"Shit." he sighed.

"Other direction Amy!" he heard Tails yell before being glomped by Amy.

"Yes hello Amy." Razor said.

"Why didn't you call me?" Amy demanded.

"Get off me and I'll tell you." Razor said. They stood up and Razor hid behind Tails. "Because I had to see my wife." Razor said before running away with Amy hot on his tail.

"Cool." Tails said before he kept on walking.

* * *

Razor ran onto the stage, completely puffed before almost being crushed by a big, blue Amy. "What happened to her?" Shadow asked.

"Blueberry...pie...bubble...gum." Razor said between puffs. "So why didn't you run for it?" Razor asked after catching his breath.

"Is there any point?" Shadow asked.

"Touche" Razor said. "Now, I'm afraid to go get Silver after what me and Doom Wraith did to him." Razor added.

"You should be." Shadow commented.

"Okay, I have a plan." Razor said.

* * *

Silver sat in a meeting for psychics and a man walked in. "Okay, all men in here who will stay as men for the next five minutes, take one step forward, NOT SO FAST SILVER!" the man said.

"Razor?" Silver asked.

"Shit." Razor said. Silver used his powers to pick up Razor and throw him around the room. As soon as Razor grabbed something, he pointed at Silver. "HAX!" he shouted before Silver got hit by a flying computer. Razor picked the unconscious Silver up and walked away.

* * *

"Hm, now, how do I get Blaze here?" Razor asked himself.

"Well, you could torture her until she agreed to come along peacefully like you did with me." Shade suggested.

"You could lure 'er with an offa' of some shrimps on the barbie like wit' me." Marine said.

"You could tell her there's guys here that have dicks like with the whore." Spike said as he pointed Rouge. "Well, maybe not Silver." he added before the psychic physically threw him out the window.

"You could offer her the chance to crush Sonic. I'd come just for that." Shadow said as he looked at the weight.

"Or, I could say you're here." Razor said to Shadow. "And a closet." he added. Razor disappeared before returning with half an arm missing. "I forgot the first commandment of Perfect's world." he said.

"What's the first commandment?" Cream asked.

"Thou shan't cause harm to Blaze, bodily or otherwise." Razor said.

"I wish there was something like that for me." Shadow grumbled.

"Well, there is, thou shan't cause much harm to Shadow." Razor said. "Luckily you're immortal." Razor added, taking away Shadow's smile.

* * *

"So, send in them dares!" Razor said as he pointed at the readers.

"I think that's breaking the fourth wall." Spike pointed out.

"Who cares?" Razor asked. Spike just looked at him with an expression like 'are you serious?'. "Right, stupid question."

_Disclaimer: I own_

_Razor: OH MY GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE FIRED!_

_Disclaimer Dude: You still remember?_

_Razor: OF COURSE I STILL REMEMBER_

_Disclaimer Dude: WELL LET ME FINISH YOU ASSHOLE!_

_Razor: fine, then piss off_

_Disclaimer Dude: thank you, Perfect Phantom owns nothing besides Razor, Spike, himself and me, also, Blaze cannot be dared yet_

_Razor: Do you have any idea how hard it is to get someone somehwere without hurting them at all?_


	2. Chapter 2

_Yeah, script format, it suits these kinds of stories better_

**Da Razor Show**

**Chapter Two**

_Babylon Rogues: For nostalgic sake, off to KFC you go!_

_Shadow: "strips him of all chaos powers and places him in the newest Halo_

_game" Let's see how good you actually are with just weapons!_

_Sonic: Your choice, death by fangirls, or closet time with Silver._

_Tails: RELEASE THE HOUNDS!_

Jet: Yes! I love KFC!

Wave and Storm: (glaring)

Razor: For double nostalgia, just Wave and Storm

Wave and Storm: (disappear)

Jet: Aw

Razor: Don't worry, you still get Kentucky Fried Rogue

Jet: Awesome! Wait, what?

Bucket of 'chicken': (appears)

Jet: Have I been eating Wave and Storm this whole time!

Razor: No

Jet: okay then (starts eating 'chicken')

* * *

Shadow: (falls on back in dying area, picks up Assault Rifle, walks off)

* * *

Razor: Well, it is safe to assume that-

Shadow: (in Halo: Reach, laughing maniacally)

Razor: Okay, he found enemies, let's just continue.

Sonic: Silver

Silver: (mentally throws Sonic into the fangirls)

Tails: (sighs and starts running)

Razor: I really missed this, now, to try and get Blaze, I need some kind of bait

Sonaze fans: SONIC!

Shadaze fans: SHADOW!

Silvaze fans: SILVER!

Razor: Silver, what are you doing in there?

Silver: (in Silvaze fans) nothing

Espaze fan: ESPIO!

Razor: Espaze fans exist? Wait a minute, PERFECT GO HOME

Me: (Espaze fan) NEVAH

Razor: YOU CONTROL EVERYTHING YOU CAN JUST MAKE HER APPEAR!

Me: where's the fun in that? (disappears)

Razor: let's see, what does Blaze like?

Silver: me

Razor: Sonic '06 events were erased numb-nuts

Marine: me

Razor: (snickers) if you have any suggestions, send them in with your dares

Sonic: who are you talking to?

Razor: the readers

Sonic: what readers? You're staring at a wall

_Disclaimer: I own-_

_Razor: NO! I thought we established that you were fired_

_Disclaimer Dude: FUCK YOU NIGGA I GOT KIDS TO FEED_

_Razor: (O.O)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Da Razor Show**

**Chapter Three**

_(A/N) I like this chapter_

_sonic: fuck spike_

_amy: say hello to my OC luna she is a crazy, lesbian, rapeist!_

_tails: you get author powers for 2 chapters and imunity from dares for this_

_chaptor also have some pie_

_espio: .now_

_shadow: fuck blaze whene she gets there_

_cosmo: tenticall rape alex_

Razor: thanks fox

Spike: oh god, fox? I hate that guy

Razor: I thought you were friends

Spike: I hate him now

Sonic: (sees dare) WHAT!

Spike: come on (walks over to closet)

Sonic: (reluctantly follows Spike)

Razor: (humming wedding music)

Spike: (throws something at Razor)

Amy: hello

Luna: (looks at Amy, inspects her, tackles her and drags her backstage)

Razor: I think that's the quickest we've gotten through a dare

Tails: YAY AUTHOR POWERS

Razor: (turns into giant turd)

Shadow: I think it's an improvement

Razor: (glares, becomes normal)

Tails: (eats pie, runs off to bathroom)

Razor: never, go against me

Bathroom: (babies crying, Tails: WHAT THE FUCK!)

Razor: mpreg is painful isn't it?

Blaze: what is wrong with you?

Razor: when'd you get here?

Blaze: I just walked in the back door when I heard screaming and then I had to run from some psycho girl who was raping Amy

Luna: (runs onto stage) come back my sweet!

Blaze:bye (runs from Luna)

Shadow: (looks at dare) FUCK A SECOND TOO LATE

Espio: since it's a dare, do I still have to pay?

Rouge: again with calling me a whore?

Razor: again? We never stopped

Rouge: whatever (walks into closet)

Espio: (goes to enter closet)

Razor: (stops Espio) wait, let's see what happens while she waits

Closet: (starts shaking)

Razor: uhh... go on in

Espio: (cautiously enters closet)

Cosmo:(looks at Alex)

Alex: aw shit

Cosmo: (reveals tentacles under dress)

Alex: and now Tails shall never recover from what could have been if you hadn't died

Tails: RAZOR! WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOU AND- (sees Cosmo, passes out)

Alex: told ya

Cosmo: (grabs Alex and Tails and takes them to third closet)

* * *

_Half an hour later..._

Alex: (thrown out of closet)

Cream: GIVE BACK MY TAILSIE (runs into closet)

Razor: boredom = sex scene

Yaoi fanboys: sex = Shadow & Silver

Razor: can't argue with that

Shadow & Silver: (run in opposite directions, meet up on other side of world)

Shadow: finally, we escaped that psycho

Silver: you know, we're all alone

Shadow: RAZOR YOU ASSHOLE!

Silver: speaking of assholes (drops to all fours)

* * *

_The stage..._

Razor: should I explain in excruciating detail what happens?

Yaoi fans: YES

Yuri fans: NO

Straight fans: NO

Scary unknown people: YES

Razor: damn, tie, READERS YOU DECIDE, also, SEND IN SOME FUCKING DARES MY PAYCHECK DEPENDS ON YOU LAZY BASTARDS

Spike: (exits closet) that lasted longer than I had hoped, now, to kill some time and prove my sexuality (makes out with Marine)

Marine: strewth

Razor: I don't think you should do that

Spike: why not? Sora is gone, gone, GONE AHAHAHAHAH

Razor: orly?

Spike: yarly

Razor: orly?

Spike: yarly

Sora: orly?

Spike: y- shit, how long have you been here?

Razor: I hid her in the roof until you did what you did, and man did it pay off

Spike: THY REDDISH HEDGEHOG SHALL PAY

Razor: shut up and go have angry cheated on sex

Spike: fine (picks up Sora and carries her to closet)

Sonic: I'm glad I didn't leave (thrown out)

Blaze: (comes back exhausted)

Skye: Blazer lazer

Luna: Blazey wazey

Blaze: help me

Shadow: stay back foul beasts

Skye: but we need to stuff her with yeast

Blaze: one question, why?

Charmy: I LIKE PIE

Razor: why are we rhyming?

Espio: just be thankful they aren't miming

Razor: seriously, stop it

Closet: (Spike: can I suck your clit?)

Razor: this is really creeping me out

Caliburn: Sonic! Challenge Lancelot to a bout

Razor: WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM!

Alex: and why do you sound like a pom?

Razor: (face-palm)

Amy: (applies lip-balm)

Razor: I hate my life

Caliburn: why? is it filled with strife?

Razor: no, it's filled with RHYMES

Luna: please Blaze, let us fill you with limes

Razor: GAH

Sonic: so Manic, how is ma?

Manic: she's pretty good

Knuckles: STOP RHYMING OR I'LL HIT YOU WITH A PLANK OF WOOD

Shadow: (takes Blaze back-stage)


	4. Chapter 4

**Da Razor Show**

**Chapter Four**

Spike: (randomly a mage)

Razor: (smashing head against wall)

Spike: what's your problem?

Razor: YES NO MORE RHYMING

Mephiles: and I show up with perfect timing

Razor: (rips Mephiles in half)

_sonic: act like shadow_

_shadow: act like sonic_

_amy: (hipnotises then points at rouge) there's sonic go nuts_

_tails: ok i think you need traning in author powers come to my dojo in france_

_and i will train you only iff you wan't though_

_cream and cosmo: (shoves cboth in to amXtails fan boy's pit[if you see me in_

_there it's cause i'm a HUGE amyXtails fan XD])_

_also can chaos co-star?_

Sonic: co-star? Since when has an actual character co-starred?

Razor: not that Chaos, this Chaos is a robot from the future who is the son of Renji and Tera

Spike: fox?

Razor: fox

Sonic: whatever

Shadow: seriously?

Sonic: what? (reads dare) this should be fun

Shadow: I know what you're thinking, and I can help you with cutting your wrists

Sonic: cool thanks

Shadow: (cuts Sonic's hands off) (in Sonic's voice:) gee, need a hand?

Sonic: I'll kill you, you bastard!

Razor: Sonic captured his personality perfectly

Amy: orly? YAYZ (glomps Rouge)

Spike: umm, shouldn't we put them in the closet?

Skye & Luna: nope

Sora: I thought we were just heading there anyway

Chaos: die meatbags

Razor: Chaos, deal with Chaos

Chaos: (turns into Perfect Chaos)

Chaos: you cannot defeat me water beast

Chaos: mrawr

Chaos & Chaos: (confused)

Chaos: YOU TWO ARE MEAN

Chaos & Chaos: (look at each other confused)

Razor: wow, the readers must be really confused

Spike: I'm watching it and I'M confused

Razor: okay, let's solve this, Chaos (S) belongs to Sega, Chaos (F) belongs to Fox, and Chaos (P) belongs to Perfect Phantom

Chaos: bye (leaves)

Spike: which Chaos just left?

Chaos: (comes back) I AM TOO AWESOME FOR A LETTER (leaves)

Razor: the only one with a personality

Chaos (F): I have a personality

Razor: fine, an organic body

Chaos (S): (gurgle)

Razor: you're liquid not organic

Tails: YES PLEASE TAKE ME THERE RIGHT NOW

Razor: TRIPLE AUTHOR POWERS

Tails: (O.O) shit (disappears)

Sonic: what'd you do Faker?

Shadow: (smacks Sonic upside the head)

Razor: sent Tails there, made Fox Foxy and the last part is a secret

Skye: where'd Luna go?

Razor: that was an addition of the first part

* * *

_Somewhere in France...I think..._

Tails: (screams)

* * *

_Somewhere in...where is this anyway?..._

Razor: (listening for echo)

Spike: what are you doing?

Tails' Scream: (reaches them)

Razor: Sam (disappears)

Spike: you heard the man...woman...child...thing...what even IS fox?

Cream: (pulls out an AK-47) say hello to my little friend

Cosmo: (pulls out tentacles)

Spike: (falls out from under Cosmo's dress) I just found out that Cosmo's vagina is the main portal linked to the one on the wall over there (points at portal)

Amy: that's still there?

Spike: (points at Rouge) look Sonic

Amy: SONNIKU

Spike: (over by portal) so why didn't you tell me you sprouted from the seeds planted in Cosmo's bowels?

Tentacles: it's embarrassing

Spike: living in a chick's ass? You and I have very different views of embarrassing

Cream: (throws naked eighteen year old girl onto stage) this is fox isn't it?

Spike: actually, Foxy right now

Foxy: you remembered Spikey-poo

Spikey-poo: THAT'S NOT MY FUCKING NAME

_it is now_

Spikey-poo: I hate my life

Foxy: well, I can make it all better

Spikey-poo: one, we've been over this, two, I'm seeing someone

Sora: 's fist unless you get in that closet right now

Spikey-poo: yes ma'am (flies into closet)

Sora: (follows)

Foxy: so can I hang out here?

Razor: NO UZ HAV 2 TEECH TAYLZ TEH AWTOREH POWERZ

Blaze: ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO SPEAK LOLCAT

Razor: then speak it sexy kitteh

Sam: you do realize I'm right here, right?

Razor: no, actually

Sam: well, now you'll have a non-sexual story to tell Phantom

Razor: I already had one, ironic how they're both painful

Foxy: so, that's a no?

Razor: (clicks boots together three times) there's no place like a place without a psycho naked human freak

Foxy: (disappears)

Razor: I'm bored, MISTIC FOX TIME! Re-enacted using Shadow and Silver because no-one voted on the sex scene thing

Shadow: I have no idea what Mistic Fox and I doubt I want to know

Razor: you'll see

Shadow: wait a minute, me and Sonic switched remember?

Razor: o yeah

Sonic& Silver: (disappear)

Razor: hey wait a minute, you didn't switch, you just acted like each other, you get to re-enact Hyper Jackal

Shadow: that sounds bad

Razor: why because it's me?

Shadow: no because he (points up) can control minds and seems pretty pre-occupied with something

Razor: like my mind?

Shadow: what?

Razor: what?

Shadow: what?

Razor: have fun

Shadow: (disappears)

Razor: and to occupy the readers, go on mistic fox, I'll give you a link (holds up link: www(dot)funny-games(dot)biz/mistic-fox(dot)html) you'll have to copy and paste, enjoy (drops link) imagine Sonic and Silver in the second choice, hopefully we'll get reviews calling us sick bastards

Blaze: don't you mean you?

_I AM ONE I AM ALL, in other words I have MPD_

Blaze: right, why have I not run away yet?

Razor: because mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox ami and her worms mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox mistic fox tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll tails doll

Blaze: (covered in flames) _**DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW ANNOYING THAT IS!**_

Razor: fluffycakes? Can you feel the sunshine? Does it brighten up your day?

Blaze: (sigh)

Tails Doll: you smell nice

Blaze: (wide-eyed)

Nightmare Blaze: (tackles Tails Doll) do I always have to stop you from stealing souls?

Tails Doll: no, you could just leave me be

Nightmare Blaze: haha very funny, oh and Blaze, you may want to clean yourself up (takes Tails Doll away)

Blaze: (covering wet spot, laughs nervously) IF A FREAKY DOLL FROM HELL APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE RIGHT BEHIND YOU TO SAY YOU SMELL NICE IN A CREEPY VOICE YOU'D BE FREAKED OUT TOO!

Razor: Blaze?

Blaze: WHAT!

Razor: can you feel the sunshine?

Blaze: (punches Razor and Tails Doll in the face) STOP SUMMONING THAT CREEPY FUCKER

Razor: but Blaze, can you feel the sunshine?

Blaze: (kicks Razor in the nuts) touch me and burn

Tails Doll: (lowers arms)

Razor: DNA digivolution?

Blaze: what?

Razor: FU-SION-HA! Razor and Blaze digivolve to...

?: BLAZOR! THE ULTIMATE SHEMALE!

Tails Doll: um, a little too much info

Blazor: this should be fun, reminds me of Mistic Fox, really? That must be pretty fucked up then, no, I just have a weird mind, one time toilet paper made me think of tentacles

…

Blazor: what the fuck?


	5. Chapter 5

**Da Razor Show**

**Chapter Five**

_fox: *eye twitch* that does it i'm a kitsune and i dare tails to... reenact_

_star wars 6 RTJ ending as luke shadow as darth vader, sonic as the emprer that_

_is all no wait amy i dare you to do tails after there done _

_chibi fox: YAYZ AMILS!_

Tails: do I have to?

Shadow: come on, Star Wars isn't that bad

Tails: not that

Amy: (slaps Tails)

Tails: ow

Blazor: off to the death star mark 2

Tails, Shadow & Sonic: (disappear)

Knuckles: you do realise that you could have just kept them here right?

Blazor: ...the day I'm corrected by a ret- never mind, yes I realise, I just don't care

Knuckles: and why am I the only one here?

Amy: what about me?

Knuckles: why am I the only intelligent one here?

Blazor: (thinking) ...nahh

Knuckles: why am I the only guy here?

Blazor: (looks at Amy) don't say it... come on I gotta... no... fine, what about Amy HA I SAID IT (punches self) oww...

Knuckles: when are you going to separate? This is confusing

Blazor: once I discover the full female anatomy... don't they teach that in sex ed?... Just because I fuck a lot doesn't mean I know about the female anatomy... wikipedia does exist you know, yeah but search for labia and it comes up with human vagina, a human who's trying to be furry... I think that's called puberty

Knuckles: (passes out)

Blazor: yes we did it (hi-fives self)

* * *

_In the death star..._

Sonic: (electrocuting Tails)

Tails: since when could you do this?

Sonic: about two seconds ago

Tails: Shadow!

Shadow: (sleeping in the Emperor's throne)

Tails: SHADOW!

Shadow: (snorts, rolls over)

Razor: (appears, blows air horn)

Shadow: (wakes up) What!

Razor: you gotta kill Sonic (disappears)

Shadow: sweet

Sonic: (sees Shadow approaching) oh shit

Shadow: (throws Sonic down hole) MWAHAHAH TAKE THAT FAKER

Sonic: weeee

Razor: (appears) you're supposed to be screaming because you're about to die (disappears)

Shadow: I am supreme!

Razor: (appears) you're supposed to be in pain from being electrocuted (disappears)

Tails: you're not in pain are you?

Shadow: not in the slightest

Razor: (appears, electrocutes Shadow with billion volt laser) how about now

Shadow: (writhing on floor)

Razor: that's what I thought (disappears)

* * *

_Stage..._

Razor: (appears) well that failed, we failed the sunshine

Tails Doll: NOOOOoOOOO

Blaze: why is everyone on here except me an idiot

Shadow: what about me?

Blaze: good point (starts making out with Shadow)

Tails Doll: (looks at Razor)

Razor: I swear that wasn't my doing

Tails Doll: on what

Razor: your crystal

* * *

_Elsewhere, in the fluffy clouds..._

Bureizu (Nightmare Blaze): do you think we should stop fucking with our alternate selves?

Shadō (Shadow Android with green streaks): nah

Bureizu: should we at least warn them?

Razor: (appears) stop trying to give this story a plotline

Bureizu & Shadō: sorry

Razor: (disappears)

Bureizu: you sure? not even the host knows

Shadō: nah it'll be fine

Bureizu: okay, but if this fucks up, it's your ass on the line

Shadō: just like last night

Bureizu: SHT! We're on camera

Shadō: (notices camera, waves hand at camera) cool

Bureizu: you're a super-advanced robot and you think THAT'S cool?

Shadō: well you didn't find my-

Bureizu: CAMERA, and you can't say anything after last night

Shadō: it's not my fault you have no imagination

* * *

_Stage..._

Razor: so while the grumpy couple argue (burned and electrocuted at the same time) let's finish the dare

Tails: (reappears with his fur standing on edge)

Razor: (cracks up) you look ridiculous

Tails: at least I don't walk around all day with red fur and black streaks

Razor: I'll have you know that my appearance has gotten me almost as many whores as my music has

Sam: and how many is that?

Razor: a lot, but you know I'd never cheat on you (kisses Sam) except one night in Vegas, but hey, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas right?

Sam: (glaring)

Razor: joking

Tails: you think I could join your band?

Razor: sure

Sam: he's twelve

Razor: Spike was eleven

Sam: we're talking about when Tails will lose his virginity, not when Spike did

Tails: um, you do know what Razor has been doing to us right?

Sam: Razor

Razor: Sam

Knuckles: Knuckles

Everyone; (staring blankly at Knuckles)

Knuckles: I just want to feel loved

Razor: there are some fan-girls down there (points at girls frothing at the mouth)

Sam: Razor!

Razor: what?

Sam: they can't handle the super sugar

Razor: they need to have lots of energy for...

Sam: (glaring)

Razor: never mind

Tails: have you even been paying attention to the show?

Sam: no, but I figured Razor was responsible

Tails: and how long have you two been together?

Razor: going on three years

Tails: and you think you know him?

Sam: relatively

Razor: HEY WAIT A MINUTE! STOP STALLING AND START FUCKING!

Sam: RAZOR!

Razor: oh, right, shit

Tails: fine, but only because you just made my day

Amy: YAYZ TAILSIE

Cream, Cosmo & Marine: (cocking shotguns at Amy)

Amy: I think I just turdgasmed

Razor: (throws up)

Sam: Razor

Razor: I saw the video and I regret it, just promise me not to turdgasm

Sam: I don't even know what turdgasming is

Razor: think two girls one cup with more shit and no cup, and more spew

Sam: I haven't seen two girls one cup

Razor: what has Skye been teaching you

Sam: I stay away from Skye as much as possible

Razor: oh, good, if she ever says something about lolshock, head in the other direction, at full speed and then some

Sam: I'll do that

Spike: I figured out who the tentacles are

Tails: who? (dragged to closet)

Spike: CTHULHU

Tentacles: did someone call?

Spike: why don't you show your face Cthulhu?

Cthulhu: everyone will go insane

Spike: lies, cover your eyes everyone

…...: (…...) … . …. … …... ….. .. …...

…..: …., … …... …. …..

…...: … …. (…...)

Spike: so, that went well

Razor: it did? What do you guys think?

Wall: …

Razor: I agree

Spike: you didn't cover your eyes did you?

Razor: why would I lover my pies? And how are you floating upside-down?

Spike: there are two explanations for this... Alex what are they?

Alex: he's insane or he's high, ironically, you're both

Spike: I'm whadgahuh?

Alex: highly insane

Spike: sweet

Blaze: is that even possible?

Shadow: is what?

Blaze: I have no idea

* * *

_Elsewhere..._

Bureizu: okay you win, this is fun

Shadō: you're not even doing that much, watch this

* * *

_The stage..._

Shadow: (triple backflip, backside 360, faceplant) where'd I get a snowboard from?

Blaze: what the hell just happened?

Shadow: someone raising it

Midnight: HA

Shadow: go away before I go bird-hunting

Voltzen: I agree

Midnight: but today isn't gunman day

Voltzen; I don't need guns to hunt you

Shadow: both of you have three seconds to get out before I start shooting

Voltzen: but-

Shadow: 1!

Midnight: can't you just-

Shadow: 2!

Voltzen: (gone)

Shadow: 3!

Midnight: where'd V go?

Shadow: (pulls out shotgun)

Midnight: ONOZ (runs away)

Razor: four pages one dare, wow

Shadow; while I have this shotgun (aims at Razor)

Razor: FREEZE NIGRAS! ITS THE PO-LICE

Shadow: (shoots)

Shotgun: (shoots out little flag that says bang)

Razor: lolfail

Tails Doll: did he lolfail the sunshine?

Razor: NO! HE LOLFAILED THE MOONSHINE!

Tails Doll & Razor: (cheering)

Shadow: what the fuck?

* * *

_This is annoying..._

Bureizu & Shadō: what the fuck?

* * *

_Oh my god..._

Daxxon: what the fuck?

* * *

_Wait a minute, isn't he dead..._

Solaris: what the fuck?

* * *

_Okay this is just getting ridiculous..._

Razor: can you feel the sunshine?

Tails Doll: does it brighten up your day?

Blaze: (facepalm) can we just end it here?

Tails Doll: only if you can feel the sunshine

Razor: (creates star and holds it above his head) FEEL THE FUCKING SUNSHINE (throws star at Blaze)

Blaze: oh shit

_Disclaimer: assorted Ocs, stage, belong to me_


	6. Chapter 6

**Da Razor Show**

**Chapter Six**

Razor: WHY IS NO ONE FUCKING REVIEWING!

Blaze: (charred) because you're an ass hole

Razor: THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT!

Tails Doll: We got one

Razor; I MEAN COME ON! YOU CAN'T TAKE FUCKING FIVE MINUTES OUT OF YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE TO TORTURE PEOPLE!

Tails Doll: we did get a review

Razor: OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE ON FANFICTION IS A COMPLETE AND TOTAL-

Tails Doll: RAZOR!

Razor: WHAT! I 'M TRYING TO RANT HERE!

Tails Doll: we did get a review

Razor: oh, thanks fox

_amy: go on a date with tails_

_knukles: make out with sonic_

_shadow: get beat up by alex(P)_

_cream: meet luna_

Amy: but I don't like Tails

Tails: (Crying)

Amy: I do like you just not in that way

Razor: too fucking bad (snaps fingers)

Tails & Amy: (disappear)

Knuckles: no, no no no, not a chance, NO!

Sonic: what is it? (reads dare) no, no no no, not a chance, NO!

Razor: see how much you two have in common?

Sonic & Knuckles: NO!

Razor: just go on Newgrounds and search for Sonic & Knuckles, that will either make you want to, or throw up, I know what it did to me (pretends to stick finger down throat to audience)

Audience: (laughs)

Sonic: one, how is that funny, two, when did they get here, three, since when have we been sitting in chairs?

Razor: a wizard did it

Spike: (derp face) r u a wizard?

Razor; no

Spike: r u a wizard?

Razor: no, I am simply-

Spike: r u a wizard?

Razor: no, now if-

Spike: r u a wizard?

Razor: NO!

Spike: r u a wizard?

Razor: (punches Spike in the face, breaking his nose) now then, where were we?

Knuckles: you just excused us from doing our dare

Razor: that doesn't sound like me, that doesn't sound like me at all

Sonic: a wizard did it

Spike; r u a wizard?

Razor: (stomps on Spike's face)

Spike: my face, iz step on by boot

Razor: (crushes Spike with giant weight)

Sonic: is he still alive?

Razor: yes, now MAKE OUT

Knuckles: I don't know we should probably take him to the hospital

Razor: he'll survive unless it's for you meddling kids

Sonic:...what?

Razor; MAKE OUT

Knuckles: no

Audience: ooooh

Razor: (points at Spike under the weight) and he's my brother

Knuckles: noted

Razor: SUPER SEXY JUMBO CAM HIGH DEF DETAILS

Sonic: how'd we get to a football game?

Announcer: look, it's a happy couple

Jumbo-cam: (shows Sonic and Knuckles)

Knuckles: fuck

Random crowd person: YOU HAVE TO! YOU'RE ON THE JUMBO CAM

Sonic; Spike?

Random crowd person: ...noooo (runs away)

Knuckles: let's just get it over with

Sonic: fine

Knuckles & Sonic: (quick, light kiss)

Razor: (appears) NOT BIG ENOUGH (shoots them with laser eyes)

Spike: YOU TRAITOR

Razor: you have to admit, Katamari is good for one thing

Spike: making people feel worthless?

Razor: ...two things, that, and a meme

Spike: also making guys feel inadequate

Sonic: are you guys talking about-

Razor & Spike: NOT BIG ENOUGH

Sonic: (cries)

Razor: we are back, now let's check on Amy and Tails

Tails: (butt-fucking Amy)

Razor: oh, seems their date went well

Spike: wow, how does his fur conceal that? It's fucking huge

Razor: reminds me of that poor HentaiKey girl

Spike: that was awesome

Razor: I know

Shadow; can we just continue?

Razor: (throws dare at Shadow)

Shadow: (reads dare) HA!

Alex: are you saying I can't beat you up because I'm a girl?

Shadow: no, I'm saying that no one can beat me up

Alex: just piss me off

Shadow: what?

Alex: I can't beat people up til they piss me off, that's why it's so easy to beat Spike up

Spike: (shudders)

Shadow: alright, you're a worthless piece of shit who can be outsmarted by Spike

Audience: (gasp)

Razor: (eating popcorn)

Alex: orly? (punches Shadow, breaking his nose) worthless? (punches his gut, winding him) piece of shit? (knees him in the nuts, bringing him to his knees) outsmarted by Spike! (elbow drops his back, completely shattering his spine)

Shadow: (choking on blood) I stand (cough) corrected (passes out)

Alex: don't mess with me (kicks Shadow in the ribs then walks away)

Razor: AWESOME SAUCE

Spike: CARAMEL

Razor: CARAMELLDANSEN

Spike & Razor: (do the caramel dance) dance on your balls, cat fuck in a handbag

Blaze: what the hell are you doing?

Razor: that's what the original version sounds like

Blaze: I doubt it

Razor: it does, I'll show you (plays Caramelldansen for Blaze)

Blaze: wow, so it does

Razor: care to join?

Blaze: eh, I guess

Razor, Spike & Blaze: (do the caramel dance) dance on your balls, cat fuck in a handbag

Spike: ha, you fucked in a handbag

Blaze: IT WAS ONE TIME

Spike: caramel

Razor; why do you say that?

Spike: because caramel is another name for awesome sauce

Razor: touche

Cream; who's Luna?

Razor: since this review was sent before Perfect actually told fox about his Luna, I'll send fox's, but since this chapter was made afterwards, I'll send both

Spike: how come your arms always get tangled when you explain things like that?

Razor; because I start with one hand motion then I contradict it with another going in the opposite direction, then I contradict THAT with a third which curls around the second until eventually I tangle myself up, like so

Spike; I think I just had an imbrosion

Razor: broference

Razor & Spike: (fist bump)

Spike: RELEASE THE WHORES

Luna (P): nymphomaniacs

Luna (F): but we'll let it slide for a, favour, of some sort

Spike: don't want it to slide, I always get carpet burn, ATTACK

Cream: oh sh-

Luna's: (glomp Cream)

Spike: what terrible language

Cthulhu: I know, her mother must be very irresponsible

Vanilla; HEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DIRTY PIECE OF SHIT BEFORE I TAKE THOSE TENTACLES AND SHOVE THEM SO FAR UP YOUR ASS NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO TELL THEY WENT THROUGH YOU!

Spike: disturbing mental image, ANYWAY

Cthulhu: wow, even I was freaked out by that

Spike: mental image or Vanilla totally flipping?

Cthulhu; to be honest, both

Spike; I know how you can safely leave the portal without turning everyone crazy...-er

Cthulhu: how?

Spike: since I'm already insane, I can fashion a mask after your face, technically, they won't be looking at your face, so it'll be fine

Cthulhu: but what if it's actually my eyes?

Spike: we'll eat that pie when we get to it

Cthulhu: alright, but I'm not sure if the people of R'yleh will want you back here

Spike: what do you care? all they do is give you sacrifices, it's not like their feelings have any effect on you

Cthulhu: oh yeah, come on in

Spike: thanks (enters portal)

Razor: ...he met them when he went to Atlantis

Everyone; …

Razor: ...he went to Atlantis

Everyone; …

Razor: after I died

Everyone: …?

Razor: He swam to the bottom of the ocean because he's an idiot

Everyone: (shrugs) (says such things as 'yeah, that sounds like him')

Razor: this is just shameless word padding because we're not very popular isn't it?

Red fox with black angel wings and grey mask: maaaybe

Razor: you're only here so you can interfere aren't you?

Red fox: read previous response

Razor: read?

Red fox: (glances at readers, then at audience) refer to, previous response

Razor: ohh, you were breaking the fourth wall

Red fox: no, I am not a Deadpool reference

Razor: you got the colours down

Red fox: coming from Mister Hedgehog Deadpool

Razor: you made me this way

Red fox: before I knew of Deadpool

Razor: doesn't mean you couldn't change me

Red fox: after four years, yes it does

Razor; one, pretty sure it's five, two, why do you have the same colours?

Red fox: simply because I like the colour red, and actually, I like black, fuck the grey mask, fuck you endangered species of Australia I had to sculpt for an art assignment (mask turns black)

Razor: well that's not a dick head thing to say

Red fox: this is why it's confusing to have dialogue without sound

Razor: there's sound coming out of my mouth

Red fox: to me, it's like playing Banjo-Kazooie without sound

Razor: what are you talking about?

Red fox: currently, I'm emerging as the dominant personality, and I'm on FanFiction, therefore, I have yet to actually hear anything, I simply see things in text because of all my time spent in OC Chat in Be A Character 2, despite appearing only once, though I have had one other appearance, but no matter, the point is, I see things in text because it's FanFiction

Razor: whatever Foxpool

Red fox: my name is Neo

Razor: then why don't you go blue pill your ass outta here?

Neo: I can crush you with a single thought, three words or some other combination thereof, I killed you once, I can do it again

Razor: then go for it

Neo: I would actually prefer this (snaps fingers)

Amy; Razor! (glomps Razor)

Razor: (throws Amy at a wall) YOU gave me Sam!

Neo: and I regret nothing simply to see you in pain

Razor; you will die cold and alone

Neo: I must disagree, I'm only an ass-hole to you and Sonic, and that's only in this reality, in the real world, I will have a girlfriend before Z-Day

Razor: 2012 won't actually happen, you do know that right?

Neo: believe what you will, but know that when it does, you will cease to exist

Razor: whatever

Neo: I can't believe I'm having such a terrible fight with a figment of my imagination

Spike: Hey guys I'm back

Cthulhu: Can you look at me? (em-

*beep*

*beep*

*beep*


	7. Chapter 7

**Da Razor Show**

**Chapter Seven**

Everyone: (lying on the stage, in pain, covered in blood)

Spike; I finally got the camera working again

Sonic: greeat (throws up)

Spike; I bet all the readers are confused as to why everyone is like this

Razor: it involves, unnecessary amounts of liquor, a few eldritch abominations and a major bar fight

Razor & Spike: (salute) major bar fight

Shadow: you guys are (vomit) idiots

Spike: hell yeah

Luna: you'd think that an immunity to being inebriated would cover hangovers

Spike: yeah you'd think so, but he wouldn't (points at Neo)

Neo: you gotta have some weakness

Sonic: can't one of you do something about this? (motions towards the bloody, vomit-covered stage)

Spike: probably, but let's get started with the dares

Everyone: (groans)

_hmm... i know_

_tails: take out the the trash (silver) with a nine mm revolver and shadow_

_riffale after this you are imune to dare's for a chapter_

_sonic: run back-ward's into a volcano_

_shadow: swap powers with blaze_

_blaze: see shadow's dare_

_cosmo: fight cream with the power to summan lion's (win)_

_cream: fight cosmo with the power to summon felt tips (lose)_

_knukles: you must feel up who one this wheele land's on (it's rigged to land_

_on shadow)_

_rouge: -gives her chaos powers and two shadow riffale's- go nuts_

_sally: die... paniffully_

_spike: -put's him in a room full of suger- it's all yours_

_eggman: -tye's him to a chair in the same room as spike and seals the door-_

_you have to stay here_

_silver: jump into a pit full of invisball, radioactive, flesh eating duck's_

_espio: teach tails all you know_

_vecter: the computer room is in there -points into acid pit-_

_charmy: ... same as sally_

_tails doll and nightmere blaze: -throws them into closet- do each other_

_shadow android, metal sonic, metal knukles and razor: -throws them to yoai_

_fangirls- GO NUT'S YOAI FANS! -throws in box of 'spare' robot parts-_

Silver: fuuck

Tails: ugh, loud noises

Razor: alright, you guys are no fun like this, author powers

…

Razor: the fuck? Author powers

…

Razor: why isn't this working?

Neo: maybe because the ACTUAL author is here

Razor: give me my powers back old man

Neo: you're older than me

Razor: shut up

Neo: seriously, you have four years on me

Razor: shut up or I'll- no wait, fuck

Neo: author powers

Everyone: (no longer in pain and hungover)

Tails: great, I still have to shoot Silver

Neo: well duh, have you met any of us?

Tails: alas, I have

Spike: what does alas mean?

Razor: it means shut up Spike

Spike:(turns to Tails) you're a jerk

Tails: shut up Spike (loads revolver)

Spike & Silver: eep (run away)

Razor: auth- right (turns to Neo)

Neo: ...it's funnier when they run

Razor: of course

Tails; I'm faster than both of you (chases them down)

Razor: Sonic get moving

Sonic: you don't have any authority over me

Neo: Sonic get moving

Sonic: ...damn it (runs backwards) so where's this volcano?

Neo: you'll find it just keep going backwards really fast

Sonic: (disappears in a blue blur)

Blaze: I've barely been able to use my powers since this started so what's the point?

Shadow: and I haven't used my powers since this started

Razor: that's because you'll try and run away

Blaze: ha ha you can't Chaos- (disappears)

Razor; FUCK, the shield was to stop SHADOW from Chaos Controlling out

Luna: I'm on it

Razor: I don't trust you around Blaze

Luna: but I'm a bounty huntress

Razor: so?

Cryax: I'll keep her in line

Razor: THAT'S the bounty hunter I was looking for

Cryax: let's go (takes Luna away from the stage)

Spike: did my team just leave without me?

Razor: yup, and how'd you get away from Tails?

Spike; turns out I'm faster than Silver (follows Cryax and Luna)

Cream: I shall win my Tailsie (summons felt tips)

Cosmo: of course you will (summons lion)

Cream: crap (runs)

Lion: (chases Cream)

Razor: That constitutes a win

Cosmo: Winning

Knuckles: whatever (spins spinner)

Spinner: (lands on Shadow)

Shadow: fuck

Knuckles: OH GOD

Neo: you gotta do it

Knuckles: (feels up Shadow)

Shadow: (lights Knuckles on fire) wow, being a pyro is actually pretty cool

Rouge: thanks sugar

Razor: STOP HER!

Rouge: Chaos-

Neo: author-

Rouge: Control (disappears)

Neo: powers

…

Razor: did it work?

Neo: I don't know, I can't detect her any where within twenty thousand leagues, no wait, here she is

Razor: (breathes)

Neo: DUDE YOU JUST INHALED HER!

Razor: (coughs) THE FUCK!

Sally: am I even in this show?

Neo: no but that doesn't change anything

Razor: (choking on Rouge)

Sally: how painfully?

Neo: ever play God of War?

Sally: a few times

Neo: picture when Kratos tears out the Cyclops' eye, combine it with when he cuts open the Centaur's gut, Friday by Rebecca Black and Barney the Purple Dinosaur, then times it by a hundred

Sally: just the thought is bad enough

Neo: yeah, no it isn't, author powers

Sally: (starts to spasm and foam at the mouth)

Neo: and then throw in a branding

Razor: (holding cattle brand) was that meant to be included or just because I'm doing this?

Neo: bit of both

Razor: awesome (jabs brand into Sally's ass)

Eggman: NOOOOOO- (disappears)

* * *

Spike: (appears in room full of sugar) suuuuggaaaaaarrrr

Eggman: (appears, tied to a chair) -OOOOOOOO

Spike: SUUUGGGAAAARRRRR (starts eating the sugar)

* * *

Neo: thank you fox, for being so deliciously evil

Silver: (runs in) I got away, now I need somewhere to hide

Razor: quick in here (points to seemingly empty pool)

Silver: thanks Razor (dives in) OH MY GOD I'M BEING EATEN BY INVISIBLE DUCKS! IT HURTS SO MUCH BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE TEETH! OH GOD THEY'RE RADIOACTIVE! THEY HAVE _FANGS_! AHHHHHHHH

Razor: (puts in earplugs) HE'LL BE SCREAMING FOR A BIT

Neo: stop talking so loud

Razor: WHAT?

Tails: (comes back) I heard Silver screaming

Espio: yes it is quite amusing, now come Tails, we have much to do (takes Tails to his dojo)

Vector: computer room?

Razor: (branding Sally's ass some more) FIND THE COMPUTER ROOM!

Vector: FIND THE COMPUTER ROOM! (jumps in acid pit)

Charmy: (looks at Sally) no thanks (tries to fly away)

Neo: no you don't (grabs Charmy by the stinger, accidentally pulls stinger out) oops

Charmy; (writhing on ground in pain)

Razor: (looks at Charmy, brands his ass then goes back to branding Sally's ass)

Tails Doll: well, if I have to

Bureizu: come near me and your family jewel will be so far up your ass that it will appear to have not moved

Tails Doll: was that meant to be threatening?

Bureizu; wasn't it?

Tails Doll: (shakes head) too wordy

Bureizu: alright then, come near me and stuffing isn't the only you'll be full of

Tails Doll: that one doesn't even fully make sense, it has half of an appropriate threat but doesn't do too well on its own

Bureizu: okay how about this, come near me, and I'll kill you

Tails Doll: short, simple, perfect! (approaches)

Bureizu: (kills Tails Doll)

Neo: that was kinda pointless

Razor: FUCK FUCK FUCK

Metal: that's exactly what they're making us do!

Android: one for each robot!

Mecha (Knuckles): GET AWAY FROM ME!

Razor: I've been with a robot before and it isn't pleasant, unless it's a hot fem-bot, like Courtney Gears, mm

Neo: the fuck Razor? You're married

Razor: Sammy doesn't exist in this canon

Amy: (joyful gasp)

Razor: no

Amy: (sad)

Neo: give her a chance

Razor: right now I'm going out with Shade

Shade: is now a bad time?

Razor: right on time, come help me please, you're a girl, you'll scare all these yaoi fans away

Shade: fine (teleports over)

Yaoi fans: (run screaming)

Shade: you were right?

Razor: of course I was right

Shade: whatever (teleports back to the stage with Razor)

Mecha: come back!

Android: You forgot us!

Metal: (sigh) no she didn't

All three: (tackled by yaoi fans)

Sonic: (runs past backwards) I still haven't found the volcano

Neo: oh right I was meant to make a volcano

Sonic: you son of a- (falls in a volcano) FUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuckkk (lands in lava)

Neo: apparently I'm a son of a fuck

Razor: we already knew that

Shade: are we gonna go?

Razor: (brands Sally on the ass one last time) let's go

Luna: (dumps Blaze in front of Neo, hog-tied, gagged and crying)

Neo: (picks Luna up by the throat) the fuck did you do to her?

Luna: it'd probably be best if you didn't ask

Neo: (growls, tightens grip on Luna's throat)

Luna: I'm made of darkness, you can't choke me- EURGH (explodes in shower of light shards)

Neo: you don't fuck with Blaze unless you wish to incur my wrath (unties Blaze)

Blaze: so, you'll let me go?

Neo: I'm afraid not, but if it were up to me, you'd be a free kitty right now

Razor: it is up to you isn't it?

Neo: alas, no, but if it were, you'd still be here

Razor: damn

Spike: why does everyone keep telling me to shut up?

Neo: shut up Spike

Razor: now that everyone's dead slash free, me and Shade will be going (leaves with Shade)

Spike: so what's gonna happen now that Luna's dead?

Neo: you're gonna find where she tied up Cryax and let him out and I'm going to stay here and help untraumatise Blaze

Blaze: (shudders) the crack...

Spike: she sat on your face?

Neo: no, Luna's signature move, the crack, her description of it; the whip crack, minus the whip

Spike: she's done that to me

Neo: heh

Spike: so end of chapter?

Neo: supposedly

Spike: supposedly?

Neo: well right now, I'm just pointlessly extending the chapter because I can't update right now on account of the fact that I'm too lazy to insert my LAN Adaptor

Spike: oh, so if I were to stop talking...

Neo: the chapter would end

Spike: …

Neo : YOU MOTHERFU


	8. Chapter 8

**Da Razor Show**

**Chapter Eight**

Neo: CKER

Spike: you just love starting a gag one chapter and finishing it the next chapter don't you?

Neo: it's becoming a gag in itself

Spike; right

_sonic: drink 9.78 gallons of coffie_

_tails: get a cokkie_

_blaze: -sneak's behind her and whisper's- you smell really nice_

_cosmo: -throws her to the yuri fanboy's with cream-_

_amy: .now._

_razor: ...-tern's him into a girl for the rest of the chapter-_

_spike: -put's him in a room filled with the worlds porn- here you are_

_Eggman: bulid a extrem gear board that can hold your wageht_

_alex: here's a lab filled with the most hi-tech stuff from the 75th centrey_

Sonic: but I'm not thirsty

Razor: au-ww crap

Neo: heh

Shadow; (ties Sonic down)

Sonic: I feel like I'm about to be violated

Spike: Luna! Put your underwear back on!

Both Luna's; NEVER!

Razor: (looks at Luna(f)) riight

Spike; ON WITH THE DARE (pours 9.78 gallons of coffee down Sonic's throat

Sonic: AHH! YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST WAITED FOR IT TO COOL DOWN!

Spike; coulda shoulda woulda didn't

Sonic: (pupils dilate) woah (disappears)

Neo: where'd he go? (slows down time)

Sonic: (running around at the speed of light, but in slow motion, so he appears to be running normally)

Luna: slow-ass bastard

Neo: he's moving at the speed of light, how is that slow? Come to think of it, how are you not in slow motion?

Luna: speed of darkness baby

Neo: no such thing

Luna: ever heard of a warp-hole?

Neo: not gonna question it (restores time)

Tails: YAY thank you Fox (noms cookie)

Neo: that was quick

Razor: not as quick as you

Spike; OH SHNAP!

Neo: (glares)

Razor & Spike: (their mouths disappear)

Blaze: so what's-

Fox: you smell really nice

Blaze: (turns around and lights Fox on fire) I am sick and tired of freaks saying that to me

Silver: how many times has it happened?

Blaze: including just then, four times

Neo: your smell was intoxicating, I couldn't help myself

Silver: so, Tails Doll, that fox-

Neo; kitsune

Silver: you just set on fire, and the author, who else?

Neo: I have a name

Blaze: I'd rather not say, for fear of Neo losing it

Neo: (eyes widen, snarl) LUNA

Luna (P): you screamed?

Neo:What scent did you cover Blaze in?

Luna (P): (smirk) well it wasn't so much a scent as a bodily fluid

Shadow: didn't you already kill her?

Neo: (makes Luna explode into light fragments again)

Fox: (no longer on fire) make peace with each other (throws Cream and Cosmo to the yuri fanboys)

Cream & Cosmo; NOOOO!

Alex: we already did the remake of Star Wars

Cream & Cosmo; NOOOO! (land in crowd)

Neo: camera redirection (turns the cameras to face the stage instead of the rapists)

Tails: can we wait til I finish my cookie?

Knuckles: isn't that a new cookie?

Tails: (glances around suspiciously) ...noo

Amy: (drags Tails to the closet)

Tails; NOOOO!

Razor: (trying to pry his face open, turns into a girl, eyes widen, looks down) MMMMMM!

Spike: Hmhmhmhmhmhm

Razor: M MMMMMMM MMMM MMM MMM!

Neo; heh

Spike: (disappears)

* * *

In another room: (Spike appears)

Spike: (sees computer) hm? (sits at computer)

* * *

At the stage

Eggman: oh dear (gets to work)

Neo: fasta grasshoppa fasta!

Wave: that's my line

Neo; then say it

Wave: fasta grasshoppa fasta!

Neo: it had more meaning the first time

Wave: true, but you stole my line!

Stage; (enters kung-fu movie style)

Neo: (mouth starts moving before he starts to speak) You are simply not fast unlike me, a ninja

Wave: you lie! I simply did not have time to react, for you had my boyfriend become a cannibal and eat me

Neo: aha, so you admit he is your boyfriend!

Wave: oh no! You have uncovered my deadly secret, for that you must die

Neo & Wave: (start to Matrix-style fight, just without the guns and with more kung-fu)

Alex: (disappears)

* * *

Lab: (Alex appears)

Alex: (gasp) it's so beautiful (tear of joy runs down her face)

Slash: ha, you cried

Alex: (punches Slash in the face without looking)

* * *

the stage

Zero: that was not a good idea

Neo: how'd you get here?

Zero; the door was unlocked

Shadow: so you're saying we could have left at any time we wanted!

Neo: I knew there was something funny about you guys staying here

Razor: MMMM MM MMMM MM MMMMM!

Neo: fine (gives Razor back his mouth)

Razor: YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

Neo: you don't sound very thankful

Razor; YOU TOOK MY MOUTH AND THEN LET SOME PSYCHO TURN ME INTO A GIRL!

Neo: you sound cute when you're an angry girl, but you look just as bad as normal

Razor: (slaps Neo)

Neo: aw man, bitch-slapped again

Razor: (kicks Neo in the nuts)

Neo: (falls to the ground)

Razor: I'm taking over this show again

Silver: I'm not sure if that's a good thing

Razor: author powers

Silver: (sprouts a penis on his head) oh shit

Razor: I'm back baby

Neo: (smirking) with a baby

Razor: oh you little cock-sucking ass-licking donkey-raping tree-humping turtle-blowing shit-eating piss-drinking cum-snorting testicle-loving self-pwning lemon-partying turdgasming son of a fuckwhore!

Neo: you have an impressive lung capacity

Razor: if you make me give birth to this child, I will personally see to it that it gets lodged deep within your throat

Neo: you're a terrible mother

Razor: I'm being serious

Neo: I know, but you have to wait nine months until you can

Razor: fuck

Neo: look at it this way...

Both Luna's and Skye: (glomp Razor)

Razor; FFFFFUUUUUUUUUU

Neo: huh, short chapter


	9. Chapter 9

**Da Razor Show**

**Chapter Nine**

Razor: HELL HATH FROZEN OVER

Sonic: I'm gonna regret this but, what happened?

Razor: THREE REVIEWS INSTEAD OF JUST THE ONE FROM FOX

Everyone: (glaring at Sonic)

Sonic: aw crap

Sonic, Silverand Eggman: CLOSET TIME!

_Tails: -give's him a lab like the one i gave Alex-_

_Blaze: peace girl -offer's her a MASSIVE chooclet cake-_

_Knukles: take an IQ test along with Razor and captin Quark_

_Jet: kung-fu fight! with -spins whel-o-randemness- BRUCE LEE!_

_Big: -have a piggy back from Tails doll-_

_Spike: -give's him a free pass to porno-lover's-convention- go nut's_

_Alex: ...hmmmm -give's her a porto-lab from the 987th centry-_

_Espo: speaking as a fellow ninja i belive you are awsome would you like to_

_become bussnes partener's with me?_

_Rouge: get fuked by Tails in front of EVRYONE_

_cream: be killed by ninja cosmo_

_Cosmo:[only Cosmo, Razor and Neo to read this one] -terns her into a ruthless_

_highly skilled ninja- kill Cream WITH no one other than you Razor and Neo_

_knowing_

Sonic: I now regret it even more

Silver: what happened? I can't see past Eggman's fat

Eggman: NOOOOOOO!

Silver: do we have to do it?

Sonic; how'd you know?

Silver: this show is just that predictable

Razor; you lie (waves hand)

Sonic, Silver & Eggman: (thrown into closet)

Spike: nothing's happening

Razor; thou shallt become demonic Shakira

Closet; (starts shaking)

Shadow: what

Razor: demonic Shakira's waist has a mind of it's own, for her hips really don't lie

Shadow: ...what

Razor: Vampire Masquerade, Masquerade, Vampires on Parade~

Shadow: ...what

Razor: (slaps Shadow)

Shadow: YOU MOTHER FU(disappears)

Tails: (disappears)

* * *

Tails' new lab; (Tails appears)

Tails: HOORAY, thank you fox

* * *

Blaze: wow, thanks fox

Razor; (smirks)

Neo: if you or anyone else tampered with this cake, I swear to Blaze, I will personally tear out your liver and beat you to death with it

Razor: (smirk fades) might want a new cake then

Neo: (cracks knuckles)

Razor: (runs away) DON'T HURT ME

Cake: (disappears)

New cake; (appears)

Blaze; thank you, I think? (starts eating the cake)

Neo; even when she's eating she's still the most beautiful creature the multiverse has seen

Blaze: thank you?

Knuckles: what does IQ stand for?

Razor: this'll be a walk in the park (disappears with Knuckles)

* * *

In the testing room...

Qwark: what's the answer to question one?

Knuckles: I don't know, it's so hard

Neo: you have ten minutes until the end of the test

Razor: done

Neo: and the answer to the first question, is zero, one times zero is zero

Qwark; oh

Knuckles: and what's the answer to the second question?

* * *

Later...

Neo: Razor, you got ninety percent

Razor: damn, I thought I got the square root of pi right

Neo: Qwark and Knuckles, you actually managed to get the only question you did, wrong, even though I told you the answer

Knuckles: so we could actually trust you?

Qwark: just because I turned my zero into a kitty doesn't mean I should get it marked wrong

Neo: yes it it does

* * *

The stage...

Neo: I'm back

Blaze; (extremely fat) that cake is delicious

Neo: FOX! YOU MADE MINE QUEEN AND GODDESS FAT!

Blaze: what are you... (looks down) THE FUCK!

Razor: heh

Neo; (glares at Razor)

Razor; (explodes)

Blaze: (jumps on treadmill) must...work...off...fat

Spike:she is determined

Neo; she has a perfect image and it would seem she is intent on keeping it

Spike; you really love her don't you?

Neo; that I do

Shadow; but she's my girlfriend

Neo: then prove it

Shadow: (looks at Blaze)

Blaze: (getting thinner and completely coated in sweat)

Shadow: once she takes a shower

Neo: you are such a guy (walks over and kisses Blaze)

Razor; SICK, sweet, but SICK

Spike; dude your girlfriend just got stolen, what you gonna do?

Shadow: I'm going to kill Neo

Spike; even though you and everyone else here will cease to exist in this reality once he's dead?

Everyone: … hey Shadow want some help?

Neo et Blaze: (making out)

Shadow; (cracks knuckles) DIE (throws a Chaos Spear at Neo)

The screen fades to black

_(A/N) I'm afraid that Da Razor Show has been cancelled, school has been getting in the way and I just have too much pressure right now, I probably won't ever return to Da Razor Show, so for at least a few months, Da Razor Show is hereby cancelled, also, it would appear that I have been killed_


	10. Chapter 9 and a half

_NOT_

Blaze: what just happened?

Neo; I temporarily destroyed reality

Shadow: ugh, my head

Neo; Shadow, for attempting to kill me, you must join in on every dare for the chapter

Shadow; crap

Jet: eh, I can take him

Neo: (shows Jet Bruce Lee's Wikipedia page)

Jet: can't you make Shadow do it?

Neo: I can, but I won't

Shadow: oh thank god

Neo; you'll both have to fight him

Shadow: crap

Bruce Lee: (side-kicks both jet and Shadow in a split second)

Jet: how'd he get here so fast?

Neo; he can move his hand your entire height in five milliseconds, he's frigging fast as

Shadow: well he still can't move at the speed of- (kicked)

Neo: it would seem he can

Jet; well he may be fast but he can't be that str- (smashed through a wall)

Neo: yes he can

Shadow: just how strong and fast is he?

Neo; very

Bruce Lee: (smashes Shadow and Jet taking a mere five seconds for each)

Shadow: he is too powerful

Jet; what is his power level?

Shadow: you fucking idi-

Neo; OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAND!

Shadow; run (runs)

Jet; (also runs)

Bruce Lee: (chases them)

Big: yay piggy back ride!

Tails Doll: oh god

Big: piggy back (jumps on Tails Doll)

Tails Doll: (starts dragging himself across the ground) I can't handle the weight (gem explodes)

Blaze: so what happens now?

Neo; now, Shadow gives Big a piggy back ride

Shadow; (appears) aw crap

Big: piggy back (jumps on Shadow)

Shadow: (lungs being crushed) can't...breath

Neo: hah, but you are exempt from the next three dares

Shadow: oh thank god

Neo; because they're good

Spike: isn't that called 4chan?

Razor: this is in RL

Spike: oh, cool (disappears)

Alex: sweet (disappears)

Espio: first I would have to learn what your business is, then I will need to know whether you are working for justice or evil

Neo; now Rouge and Shadow

Tails: aw man (starts butt-fucking Rouge)

Shadow; I'm gone (tries to run away)

Neo; no you're not (brings Shadow back)

Tails: (goes faster and faster until he ejaculates)

Rouge: (lying on the ground with cum leaking out of her ass) call me

Tails: yeah no I won't (butt-fucks Shadow)

Shadow: OH GOD

Cosmo; I feel...strange

Razor: (shows Cosmo the dare)

Cosmo; (smirks evilly) Shadow too?

Neo: you know it

Cosmo; I need to go to the bathroom (walks off)

Cream: hmm, thirty chapters of this has done a number on my bladder (also goes to the bathroom)

In the bathroom...

Cream: (sitting on the toilet) ugh, I really need to shit

Cosmo: (rises from behind the toilet)

Cream; (farts)

Cosmo: (starts to choke, quickly covers her mouth and nose)

Cream: yeah, much better

Cosmo; (prepares to strike)

Cream: (massive fart)

Cosmo; (starts to choke again)

Cream: here comes a big one

Cosmo; (eyes widen)

Loud splashes and farts are heard

Cosmo: (shrivelling up, quickly slits Cream's throat, runs out of the bathroom)

Neo: how amusing

_Razor: get killed repetadly by the sonic cast_

_Shadow: -give's him two RPG's and a ton of beer-_

_tails: be a pimp_

_sonic: marry rouge_

_rouge: marry sonic_

Razor; crap (gets blown up)

Shadow: (holding two RPG's) AHAHAH (blown up)

Tails: aw yeah

Cosmo & marine: (cling to Tails)

Tails; where's my third ho?

Cosmo: she's not important

Rouge: (still leaking fox cum) that idiot?

Sonic; that whore?

Razor: lol (killed)

Shadow: well at least I got to kill Razor (killed)

Neo: I'll conduct the ceremony

Blaze: (even more shapely than before) do I look good again?

Neo; you've always looked good in my eyes

Blaze; you're sweet, but seriously

Neo; honestly, HELL YES

Rouge: so do we have to get married or not?

Neo; yes

Sonic: crap

Neo: blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now kiss the whore

Rouge: bride

Neo; what'd I say?

Rouge: whore

Neo: there's a reason for that

Sonic: right (kisses Rouge)

Neo: you do realise that less than an hour ago, those lips were wrapped around your best friend's cock right?

Sonic: (coughs and spits on the ground)

_Vector: Be Eggman's slave and do anything he tells you to._

_Eggman: Have sex with Vector in front of everyone._

Vector: find the computer room?

Razor: no (killed)

Shadow: idiot (also killed)

Eggman: kill Sonic!

Vector: okay (bites Sonic's head off)

Eggman; ahahaha...now what do I do?

Neo: you fuck Vector

Vector: what!

Eggman: I'm really not surprised

Vector; I don't wanna!

Eggman: shut up and put your anus in the air

Vector; ...yes Eggman (does as told)

Neo: why do people like seeing public sex on this show?

Blaze: especially when they're not fox

Eggman: (pounding Vector's tight, scaly ass)

Neo: it's a good thing that Eggman's fat blocks the view

Blaze: agreed

Neo: this was a fun publicity stunt

Blaze: pretending to end the show?

Neo: yeah

Blaze: I don't see what was so fun about it

Neo: I like to be a jerk to people

Blaze: that's not nice, and I find it very unattractive

Neo: (eyes widen) aw crap, then I'll only wait a day before publishing this chapter, no longer

Blaze: good (kisses Neo on the cheek)

Neo: (faints)

_Sorry to anyone who was upset by this false cancellation_

_Neo: alright it took a bit more than a day_

_Blaze: a bit?_

_Neo: alright, over a week but what can I say, I'm lazy_

_Blaze: good thing your bag was at your feet_

_Neo; yup  
_


	11. Chapter 10

**Da Razor Show**

**Chapter Ten**

Neo; (gets up, sees that everyone is gone) the hell?

Razor: (walks in with a hog-tied Sonic on his shoulder) fastest thing alive my ass

Neo: where is everyone?

Razor: since you passed out, and you're the only one who can keep everyone here, everyone bolted the second you hit the floor

Neo; even Blaze?

Razor: no, she stayed to check if you were okay, the others dragged her out

Neo: eh, you can get the rest

Razor: great, it's a fucking rodeo

Neo: enjoy

Razor: dick

* * *

_Later zat evening..._

French Dude: zere, now can I go home?

Neo: whatever, I don't care

Blaze: why is everyone still tied up?

Neo: I'm too lazy to untie them

Blaze: but you're never too lazy for me are you?

Neo; you're my goddess, of course not

Razor: (walks in, drops Silver on his face)

Silver: ow, well at least I don't still have that dick on my head

Neo: I would give you that but it seems wrong while DoomWraith isn't here, now let's get started

Shadow; (gagged) mmmf

Neo; shut up Shadow

_shadow: fight razor WITH OUT YOUR POWER OR WEPONS!_

_razor: see shadow's dare_

_amy:fuck blaze_

_blaze: get killed 1,000 times in a 1,000 different ways_

_Neo: -chains him to wall and seals his power's- you have to watch each of_

_blaze's deaths you get you r powers back when her dare's over_

_sonic: you have to kill blaze_

_tails: free pot, beer and a dare pass that can be used at any time you want_

_but only work's once use it and some one else while do the dare coughalexcough_

_sally: fight Neo from matrix, Orochimaru from naruto and batman from batman:_

_arkum asylum_

_charmy: get murdered by spike_

_knukles: get butt fucked by chaos(the water one not the oc from earlier)_

_jet: eggman must die! you decide how and it can be anything you want_

_cream: change your name to princess conswala banna-hammok_

_Cosmo: -gives you a cup of water- here work it out for your self_

Shadow: mmmf?

Razor: eh I got time

Shadow: (untied) excellent (punches Razor in the face)

Razor; AH! YOU BROKE MY NOSE!

Shadow; that's what I was going for

Razor: (kicks Shadow in the nuts)

Shadow: cheap shot (falls to the ground)

Amy: I think this is actually one of my first lesbian dares

Neo; Blaze is not a lesbian!

Blaze: you just hope I'm bisexual don't you?

Neo: perhaps

Amy: let's get this over with (takes Blaze to the closet)

Knuckles & Mighty: (holding Neo back)

Neo: an author should have more power than three of you two combined!

Knuckles: what?

Closet: (screaming, Amy: the fuck?)

Everyone; (raised eyebrow)

Sonic: did Blaze just orgasm herself to death?

One death! Ah-ah-ah!

Neo: if you keep doing that I will tear your teeth out and beat you to death with them

Count: Three, three death threats from the author! Ah-ah-ah!

Neo: (does just as he said)

Count: one, one life flashing before my eyes, ah-ah-ack! (dies...again)

Blaze: (comes back to life) what happened?

Sonic: you died, the first of a thousand

Blaze: but that's nine hundred and ninety-one more than I can have

Razor: haven't you died several times during the course of this show?

Blaze: I don't think so, I'll need to think about it

Neo; NO!

Blaze: (thinks herself to death)

Two! Two deaths! Ah-ah-ah!

Neo; I thought I killed you...again

Count: Two, two times you have killed me, ah-ah-ah

Neo: (dunks the Count in Holy Water)

Count: AGH! (burns up and dies)

Razor: you're dealing with this pretty well, you don't even need to be chained to the wall

Neo: it makes it easier when I have something else to kill, plus the fact that I know she's going to come back

Blaze: (comes back) did I die again?

Neo; see?

Razor: yup

Spike: (floats past) I'm in space!

Neo; no you're... (looks out a window) since when we were on the moon?

Wheatley: (floats by outside) hey, you, the fox, you mind pulling me in there? I seem to be a bit stuck out here, in space

Corrupted Core: We're in space!

Wheatley; yes I know we're in space!

Core: we're in space

Wheatley: you don't have to pull him in you know

Core: space, space, it's so nice out here in space~

Neo: ...spoiler alert

Razor: wow, the space-lover is in space, how fitting

Neo: shut up Razor

Wheatley: umm, cat? It probably would have been better if you had pulled me in without actually coming out here

Neo; FUCK!

Blaze: (suffocating in space)

Neo; I need to kill something

Wheatley: on second thought, don't bring me in, not entirely pleasant being killed you know

Everyone except Neo: we know

Wheatley: oh, bye then, maybe there's some other nice folks who don't mind saving me

Core: spa~ace

Wheatley: shut up about space!

Core: but we're in space

Wheatley: there are other things to talk about you know, like the stars

Core: stars are in space

Wheatley; UGH! You are really getting on my nerves you know

Razor: nerves of steel my ass

Wheatley: shut up

Blaze: (comes back) how'd I get out there?

Sonic; really? (smirks evilly)

Neo; (watches Sonic) eye for an eye you know

Sonic: you've given me an idea

Spike; heheh, eye-dea

Everyone; shut up Spike

Spike: wouldn't it be easier to say touche?

Neo; idiot

Sonic: (while Neo isn't looking, quickly stabs Blaze through the eye)

Blaze: AH! I'M STILL ALIVE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

Sonic: (stabs Blaze through the other eye)

Blaze: STILL ALIVE!

Sonic: (continually stabs Blaze)

Blaze: HOW AM I NOT DEAD YET! (dies)

Sonic: that was an ordeal

Neo: (tackles Sonic, starts stabbing him)

Sonic: OW! FUCK! WHAT THE HELL! OW! IT WAS A DARE! OW!

Shadow: so that's four times Blaze has died

Corpse: ah-ah-ah!

Shadow: shut up

Tails: AWESOME! (takes pot, beer, Cosmo, Cream and Marine to back-room)

Alex: no

Neo: you can't refuse a dare

Alex: no, I am not having a sex change to be the same sex and doing it with a dude, I am also not going to become a lesbian for however long just so some freaks can fap at their computers and cover the screen with semen so they can't even see the review button

Neo: so you have the best interests of the story at heart?

Alex: no, I just barely ever get dared and I love watching all these idiots get tortured

Neo; you're going to start getting more dare snow you know

Alex: I'll believe that when I see it

Sally: um, okay? (neck cracked)

Neo; NOT BIG ENOUGH!

Sally: (revived, sees Neo(M) Orochimaru and Batman) I can understand why I should fear Neo and Batman, but who's this chick?

Neo: dude, I thought he was a girl at first too

Sally: what can he do?

Orochimaru: (pulls his sword out of his snake tongue thing)

Sally: that's weird

Neo(M) Batman and Orochimaru: (tackle Sally into comical dust cloud)

Blaze: (trips into dust cloud)

Neo; FUCKING HELL!

Shadow: five

Spike: oh yeah, this, this thing right here, this is gonna be fun

Charmy: I should be afraid shouldn't I?

Spike: (hefts giant plasma-chaingun) oh yeah

Charmy; SAVE ME! (flies away)

Spike; DIE FLY DIE! (fires his plasma-chaingun)

Charmy; (disintegrated)

Neo: how anticlimactic

Knuckles: whatever, he's made of water, it'll just be like an enema

Neo: too much information

Chaos: gurgle? (absorbs the Chaos Emeralds)

Knuckles: a very big enema

Perfect Chaos: gurgle (takes Knuckles off)

Screams are heard

Neo; okay?

Jet: YES! He can eat himself to death

Neo: eat himself or eat until he dies?

Jet: the second one

Neo: eat up fatty

Eggman; with pleasure (eats Jet)

Jet: THIS WORKED BETTER IN MY HEAD!

Eggman: (starts to eat more)

Neo; quick everyone! Look like healthy food! (turns into a carrot)

Sonic: (curls up to look like a blueberry)

Shadow: (pulls out a shotgun)

Blaze: umm (eaten)

Neo; FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER!

Razor: his curses seem to be getting more violent

Shadow: that's six

Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock: what? Oh crap

Cosmo: (holding cup of water) uhh (inspects water) umm (tips water on self) uhm (instantly grows seventy feet) HOLY SHIT!

Blaze: (crushed under one of Cosmo's roots)

Neo; FUCKING MOTHER SHIT FUCKER!

Razor: imagine his curses at the end of this

Shadow: seven

_shadow: .now_

_sonic: die even more painfully than sally did_

_espio: head of a ninja order fighting to keep peace in the multiverse_

_sally: fight Kratos, Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan with feather boa_

_(she has to fight them one at a time)_

_big: do amy in front of everyone_

_cream: -pulls out a revolver and katana- DIE! -jumps at her-_

Razor: another one?

Shadow: sweet

Neo: (being held back by Knuckles and Mighty again)

Shadow: (takes the newly revived Blaze to the closet)

Neo: no no no no

Razor: what?

Neo; I can see it, so she's gonna die in some way

Closet: (Shadow: oops)

Neo: eugh, she choked to death on his semen

Shadow: (leaves the closet) it wasn't my fault

Sonic: (looks at the dust cloud) no thanks (chained to the wall)

Neo: (picks up a leech) wonder how much blood a leech could suck from your testicles

Sonic: NO!

Neo: (throws the leech into Sonic's fur)

Razor: (picks up brand) may I?

Neo; go ahead

Razor: (starts branding Sonic's ass)

Sonic: (screaming)

Neo: (drops a leech down Sonic's throat) ugh, that made even me feel sick

Spike: (sowing Sonic's legs together)

Neo: (pouring a bucket of rusty nails into Sonic's mouth)

Razor: (still branding Sonic's ass)

Neo: (starts pouring repulsion gel down Sonic's throat)

Razor: dude, that's terrible, you know what that'll do?

Neo: make the nails bounce, constantly rip the leech from Sonic's insides, make his organs tear themselves apart, other such things

Razor: well when you put it that way...

Espio: very well, I am willing to join you

Sally: (not exactly...right) ow...

Neo; ouch (heals Sally)

Sally: why are people so mean to me?

Neo: guess they hate- where'd you go?

Kratos: (cleaning the blood and guts from his blades)

Neo; hey Kratos

Kratos: (looks at Neo, walks off)

Neo; rude (dodges Kratos' blades)

Sally: (revived) ow

Chuck Norris: (roundhouse kicks Sally into the wall, continues beating the crap out of her)

Sally: (bleeding out)

Neo; (revives Sally)

Sally: ow... (head knocked off)

Bruce Lee: (standing five feet away from Sally's headless body)

Jet: AH BRUCE LEE! (hides behind Shadow)

Sally: (revived) why does this keep happening?

Jackie Chan: (flies out of nowhere and starts to kung-fu Sally into the ground)

Sally: (badly beaten) he's not as tough as the others

Neo; Bruce

Bruce lee: (side-kicks Sally into oblivion)

Big: what does do mean?

Neo; sex

Big: oh no, I couldn't

Neo: yes you could, and you will

Big: why?

Neo: because Amy thinks you're hotter than Sonic

Sonic: (insides tearing themselves apart, rusty nails sticking out of his face, coughing blood) (groans in pain)

Big: yay, I love you too Amy

Amy: huh? (tackled by Big) AHH!

Neo: I can't tell if she's screaming from the weight or from the rape

Razor: umm, Neo, Blaze got some of the repulsion gel

Neo: FFFFFUUUUU-

_Later..._

Razor: THAT'S NOT CREAM!

Blaze: why am I a rabbit? Oh shit

Neo: DICK FUCKING SHIT WHORE MOTHER-

Razor: (gags Neo)

Neo: (glaring)

Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock: (hiding in a bin) please don't find me

Fox: (finds Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock)

Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock; AHH!

Fox: (attacks Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock)

Razor: straight to the point

Shadow: so, that's nine hundred and ninety-nine deaths for Blaze, what will the last one be?

Spike: childbirth?

Razor: only Neo can make it happen that fast

Blaze: (hiding in the corner)

Razor: I know (covers Blaze and the walls in propulsion gel, puts a portal above and below Blaze)

Blaze: uh oh (falls through the portals extremely fast and picking up speed)

Spike: I think she merged with her after-image

Razor: (fires portal at wall)

Blaze: (flies out of portal, extremely stretched out)

Spike: (pokes Blaze)

Blaze: (turns into a pile of goo)

Spike: wasn't me

Razor: huh, death by speed turns you into goo

Neo: (crying)

Razor: man up

Neo: (glares)

Razor: (explodes)

Entire studio: (starts falling apart)

Core: space?

Wheatley: yes, there's about to be a bit more space

Core: space is so big, what's your favourite thing about space?

Wheatley: it used to be the solitude

Core: mine's space

_Not cancelled this time_


	12. Chapter 11

**Da Razor Show**

**Chapter Eleven**

Spike: Longest. Coffee break. Ever. Of all time.

Razor: over a year long

Sonic: it's been a good year

Neo: (smiling) you can say that again

Sonic: may as well, the good is about to end

Razor: why _are_ you so happy?

Neo: didn't you hear? You and Sam were merely a means for me to channel my psychic abilities

Spike: what does that mean?

Alex: he's saying that when he made Samantha for Razor, he was predicting the future of his own love life

Spike: …

Alex: (sigh) he has a girlfriend, he accidentally foresaw that he would get her when he made Sam years ago

Spike: …

Alex: (grumble) he has a girlfriend and he can see the future

Spike: ohhh... well why didn't you say so?

Alex: idiot

Blaze: so no more deific loving?

Neo: 'fraid not, not even any worship no more, Motaom is my patron goddess now

Spike: how much did I miss?

Razor: a year

Spike: huh, thanks Razor!

Razor: (facepalm)

_sonic : rape alex  
cosmo: die the same way sonic just died  
sally: hmm... fight the joker, harly quinn, mister frezee, clayface, penguin, catwoman and two-face from batman  
tails: (terns him into six year-old for the next two chapters with no memeries of the events afer he ternd six in the sonic-verse) you still have to do yoir dares but only the good stuff  
razor: you have to look after six-year old tails for the next two-chapters  
silver: do all of the bad dares tails gets_

Neo: Fox, sorry I didn't use your review first, but this way, I get to laugh more

Sonic: (reads dare) are you sure this isn't Fox?

Neo: we have three sets of dares this chapter, take my word that Fox only submitted one of them

Sonic: I won't

Neo: whatever, now do the dare

Sonic: (sigh) fine (turns to Alex) LOOK! A DISTRACTION! (points over her shoulder)

Alex: (not fooled) do you have any idea how many times Spike has tried that on me?

Sonic: how many times has it worked?

Alex: once

Sonic: … look... Spike, about to drop something on your head...

Alex: (turns around to see Spike about to drop a pumpkin, slams Spike into the ground)

Sonic: (dashes at Alex's rear)

Alex: (grabs Sonic's dick and beats him to death with it)

Neo: how did she do that without breaking it off?

Cosmo: so is she going to use Sonic's dick or do I have to grow one?

Neo: let's go with the second one

Cosmo: (clutches groin in pain) wow... that's big... (moves hands to see foot-long plant-dick)

Alex: you need to actually piss me off

Cosmo: … I don't wanna...

Neo: too bad, do it anyway

Cosmo: ...Spike's smarter than you...

Alex: (enacts a sequel to what happened nine lines ago)

Neo: I've seen some weird shit...

Razor: we know...

Sally: god damn it...

Joker: why so serious?

Sally: because you have a gun

Joker: (pulls trigger)

Gun: (shoots out little flag that says 'bang')

Sally: huh...

Little flag that says 'bang': (shoots Sally in the head)

Joker: that wasn't supposed to happen...

Sally: (revived) ow...

Harley Quinn: (just shoots her)

Joker: how fun...

Harley Quinn: it didn't say we were supposed to have fun

Sally: (revived) why do people hate me so much?

Mister Freeze: (freezes Sally) how difficult...

Joker: you could have at least frozen her slowly

Mister Freeze: she'll be fine

Neo: physics apply when I want them to, she's dead

Sally: (thawed and revived) so... cold...

Clayface: (throws Sally at the wall, uses clay to start crushing her)

Joker: see? now _that's_ fun

Clayface: it kind of is...

Sally: (suffocates and dies)

Joker: and now she's dead

Sally: (revived)

Penguin: (weird penguiny laugh)

Exploding penguins: (slide along the stage towards Sally, explode)

Sally: (revived)

Catwoman: (uses her whip to yank Sally over to her)

Sally: uh oh

Catwoman: (whips Sally's throat so hard her head falls off) uhh...

Neo: impatience is a virtue

Sally: (revived)

Twoface: (holds up his two-faced coin) heads, I'll blow her up, heads, I'll feed her to sharks (flips coin)

Coin: (lands on its side)

Twoface: both it is (drop kicks Sally into the shark tank then throws some dynamite in which somehow stays lit)

Sally and the sharks: (sounds like a band name, explodes)

Little Tails: where am I?

Sonic: don't worry, little buddy, you'll be fine

Little Tails: who are all these people, Sonic?

Sonic: you'll remember in a couple chapters

Little Tails: (confused)

Razor: (reads dare) ...shit

Alex: you're already looking after your own kid, what's another one?

Razor: six

Alex: you're looking after _six_ kids?

Razor: no I mean, _he_ is six

Alex: oh...

Silver: cool

Blaze: what do you mean 'cool'?

Silver: he never gets bad dares

Blaze: oh yeah, I suppose that is cool

_everyone: fight a sword wielding monkey  
tailes: be a insane ninja  
espio: fight naruto_

Neo: you heard him every- (stabbed in the back) hmm... (looks at the monkey)

Silver: does this mean I have to- (stabbed by two sword wielding monkeys) yes

Razor: (punches the monkey in the face) so we all fight our own monkey?

Blaze: (sets the monkey on fire) looks that way

Neo: (standing over a headless monkey) well I think we can guess how this is going to turn out

Silver: (uses telekinesis to crush the two monkeys against each other) we sure can

* * *

_Later..._

Neo: (standing in front of a burning heap of monkeys and Sally)

Silver: I don't know, that sounds pretty cool...

Neo: since it's a Catch 22, you can both be insane ninjas

Silver: oh goody...

Tails: (bouncing around the stage) weeeeee! (starts throwing kunai at everyone)

Neo: (puts up a shield around himself) continuing...

Espio: very well

Naruto: I will defeat you chameleon-kun!

Espio: my name is Espio

Naruto: nice to meet you Espio-kun!

Espio: and vice versa (bows) I will try to be gentle

Naruto: kage bunshin no jutsu! (creates ten clones)

Espio: well this is interesting... (throws kunai through each of them)

Naruto clones: (disappear)

Naruto: (dodges the kunai) uhh... I didn't expect that (anime sweatdrop)

Espio: of course (throws several kunai)

Naruto: (dodges them) you can't beat me that easily Espio-kun!

Espio: of course I can't

Naruto: rasengan! (rushes Espio with a rasengan)

Espio: (dodges without too much effort and turns invisible)

Naruto: where did you go Espio-kun?

Espio: (puts several kunai through Naruto's various pressure points) is that sufficient?

Naruto: (paralysed)

Neo: whatever (spirits Naruto away)

_espio: wonderfull a space time portul will open bring you to the order making you imune to dare's this chap  
sally: fight kratos, darth vader, bruce lee, batman, chuck noriss, orochimaru, and me one at a time and you can fight with this -gives her a rubber basseball bat-  
shadow: fight knukles  
tails: you get to go in the closet with all the girls except sally  
sonic: BOULDER DASH!  
silver: jump into a volcano  
tails doll: FELL THE ING SUNSHINE -throw's a star onto him-  
razor: eat a pie (don't let him read these bit it's filled with every posion in the universe)  
spike: have some pot  
metall sonic: -gives him the upgrade chaos did(you knwo what i mean)-  
amy: fight my oc tera  
that's all KITSUNE SHUSHIN NO JUTSU!_

Espio: I see now why you put the dares in the order that you did

Neo: yup

space time portul: (opens)

Spike: you spelled it wrong bee tee dubby-oo

Alex: idiot

Spike: yeah

Alex: I meant you

Spike aw...

Espio: I will be glad to be rid of these fools, at least for a time (enters portal)

Sally: again?

Neo: when did I revive you?

Sally: I don't know

Neo: _did_ I even revive you?

Sally: how should I know?

Kratos: DIE! (kills Sally with little to no effort)

Neo: huh... (wipes blood from his mask) oh well (revives Sally)

Sally: why does this keep happening?

Darth Vader: (starts choking Sally with the force)

Spike: because your lack of faith disappoints the interwebz

Sally: (dies, revived, dies)

Bruce Lee: (appears)

Neo: heh... (revives Sally)

Batman: (punches Sally in the face)

Sally: (dies)

Neo: this is getting bothersome... (revives Sally)

Chuck Norris: (approaches Sally)

Sally: uh oh

Chuck Norris: (beard punches Sally)

Sally: (no longer has a head)

Neo: (revives Sally)

Orochimaru: (bites Sally's head off)

Neo: ugh... (revives Sally again)

Fox: where you been Neo?

Neo: grounded, now just kill her so I can take a nap

Fox: alright (uses kitsune magic to make Sally collapse in on herself) KITSUNE SHUSHIN NO JUTSU! (disappears)

Shadow: very well

Knuckles: prepare to- (head blown off)

Shadow: (holding a shotgun) what was that?

Neo: you're no fun

Joker: too serious...

Tails: what do you mean 'in the closet'? and who are all these ladies?

Alex: you have problems, Neo

Neo: I'm not the one putting a six year old between women in their late teens and early twenties for an orgy

Blaze: don't forget Cream, Cosmo and Marine

Neo: and pre-teens...

Blaze: and isn't Tails supposed to be an insane ninja?

Razor: so I'm a good guardian, so what?

All the girls: d'awww

Razor: shut up...

Amy: follow me Tails

Sonic: it's fine, little buddy

Tails: okay... (follows Amy to the closet)

All the other girls except Sally: (follow them)

Sonic: wha- (crushed by a very fast boulder)

Steven Magnet: What a world! (faints)

Shadow: what the hell is that thing?

Rarity: leave him alone you ruffian!

Shadow: oh god... ponies... (looks at Neo)

Neo: what?

Shadow: (points at Rarity)

Rarity: it's rude to point...

Neo: yeah? so?

Rainbow Dash: you got a problem with ponies?

Shadow: (walks away shaking his head)

Neo: huh... we actually left him speechless... (high-hoofs Rarity and Rainbow Dash)

Silver: (somewhere else)

Neo: well he's obviously still in the... (sees the open door) how the hell did he get out?

Jet: you _did_ make him an insane ninja... the insanity gave him the idea to try and escape, the ninja gave him the skills

Neo: and why aren't you gone?

Jet: I don't have much reason to try, I don't get dared much

Neo: (looks around the empty studio) your fellow thieves are gone

Jet: good point (runs through the doorway)

* * *

_Outside..._

The majority of the cast was currently running across a gigantic, barren plain.

"Well would you look at that..." The Tails Doll commented as he looked up at the star falling towards him.

Above the star, Fox was laughing like a maniac.

Suddenly, black flames appeared and protected everyone from the star.

"You owe me." Bureizu stated to Tails Doll before throwing the star back at Fox.

"Are you talking about the 'plot' of this show again?" Razor sighed.

Bureizu glared at him. "The show has no plot, it's a method of gaining a cheap laugh at others' expense. The _story_, however, has a very definite plot."

"The whole thing started as a way for Neo to get a cheap laugh at others' expense." Razor pointed out.

"And he will never be content," Bureizu said, "With just cheap laughter. Human minds need to rationalise everything."

"He's not exactly human..." Alex pointed out.

"He still applies story-lines to everything." Bureizu responded.

Razor gave her a skeptical look. "Proof."

"He isn't out here, dragging you all back." Bureizu stated simply.

"Sorry I'm late," Neo said as he appeared, "Oh hey the format changed... Yeah, you guys have some dares to finish, after that, I could probably care less what you do, unless you get some more dares."

Bureizu, to the group, "Just hold on a bit longer," she said, "There's only a couple left."

The cast grumbled unhappily before being whisked back to the stage by Neo.

* * *

_Inside..._

Razor: obvious trap is obvious...

Neo: he said 'eat a pie', not 'have a pie'

Razor: ...hey Alex?

Neo: damn

Alex: whatever (hands Razor a vial)

Razor: thanks (eats the pie, drinks the solution) you know, Alex, you're brilliant

Alex: (slight blush) w-what?

Razor: everyone always takes you for granted, and they never realise how lucky they are to have someone as smart as you

Alex (hides her red face) t-thanks...

Neo: before this turns into an after-school special, let's continue

Spike: I gave that up when Razor died

Neo: why is everypony being no fun?

Razor: because you try to kill us on a daily basis

Metal: (gains all sorts of boosters, lasers and rockets) oh yes, this will do quite nicely

Mecha: woah...

Android: agreed...

Amy: I think I remember hearing about Tera... didn't she control- (encased in a sand coffin)

Tera: sand? yes

Sand coffin: (starts leaking blood)

Neo: (staring at the blood) I am reminded of Monster Girl Quest

Tera: ew...

Neo: (starts licking up the blood)

Tera: ew!

Razor: we've just gotten used to it

Blaze: so... can we go now?

Neo: whatever (continues licking up blood)

Blaze: cool

Everyone: (leaves)

Neo: oh, and readers? you do remember this is _truth_ or dare, right? you're allowed to ask questions of the cast too; you know, I first made an account on here in 2008 to review a truth or dare story, I believe it was jackattack555's, that means that in four years of reading truth or dare stories, I have seen less than ten truths, come on interwebz, step up your curiosity a notch

* * *

"So," Bureizu began, "Any questions before we start?"

"I have one," Tails Doll raised his hand. "Where's your boyfriend?"

"He has other things to deal with, any other questions?" When no-one spoke up, Bureizu continued. "So, are you ready to step into another world?" she asked as she summoned a large, pale green portal.

"What about Espio?" Rouge spoke up,

"Are we one dick short of the 'orgy deal'?" Razor joked.

"Already taken care of," Bureizu said; when Razor laughed she quickly corrected herself, "I mean, Espio is waiting for us on the other side."

Alex cleared her throat to gain attention. "What are we waiting around for? We've got a plot to unravel."

"At least one of you is willing." Bureizu commented before walking through the portal. Alex preceded the rest of the cast in following her.

_Disclaimer: different to last time_

_(A/N) I am still accepting truths and dares, they'll simply stretch the chapter out_

_~Ciao, love and kisses, Dragonfly~_


	13. Chapter 13

**Da Razor Show**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Bureizu: oh you have _got _to be kidding me

Neo: nice to see you too Bureizu

Bureizu: I suppose this means you want them for something

Neo: pretty much, yeah

Bureizu: I should have figured...

Sonic: (shrieks and tries to run back through the portal)

Portal: (disappears)

Sonic: (slams into the wall) ow...

_LOL  
sonic: fight metal sonic and shadow  
amy: be taped to eggman for 4 chapters  
blaze: fuck charmy to death(if you've read jackattack555's ToD you know she can do this)  
knukles: why do you leave angel island all the time whene your meant to PROTECT the master emerald  
tails: YAY FLUFFY! -glomps him-  
fox: ahem  
blood lord: alright, alright i'll leave the fluffy alone oh mighty odlder brother back to the dares  
silver: be terned into a girl...by sonic...with out pain releavers  
tikal: hit a chao in front of chaos  
big: be terned into a kung fu master and intellergant for two chapters  
eggmam: die in a bizare mannor  
blood lord: thats all, blood lord away!_

Sonic: (crying) please just let me die...

Shadow and Metal: (look at each other)

Shadow: it does say he has to fight both of us, but it doesn't say it has to be a three way fight

Metal: _your thought process intrigues me..._

Shadow and Metal: (beat up Sonic)

Amy: uh oh

Neo: hey Blood, are you a boy or a girl? I may have been told before but I have a terrible memory

Alex: (smug smirk) since your brain runs too fast?

Neo: exactly, minus the sarcasm

Alex: (rolls eyes)

Random white-furred wolf girl: (appears) hmm? Do I have a job to do?

Neo: who are you?

Wolf girl: I recognise you...

Neo: well this can't be good

Wolf girl: oh god, I remember now

Neo: god_s_, plural

Wolf girl: (glares)

Neo: right, Christian... anyway, can you tape Pinky and Fat-man together?

Wolf girl: will I get paid?

Neo: … I thought you were religious

Wolf girl: I'm religious, not fanatical, besides, the Lord will forgive our sins as long as we wish for forgiveness

Neo: I just forgive myself

Wolf girl: you're going to burn in hell

Razor: I been there, not actually that hot

Green fox: in all honesty, you weren't there for very long

Brown minotaur: and you didn't go near the tortured souls

Razor: why are you two ganging up on me about it?

Green fox: I was taken there _through_ a fire

Brown minotaur: and I _was_ one of the tortured souls... for about seven hundred years might I add

Razor: those are both fair point, and I apologise

Alex: … how much did I miss in that year?

Razor: what do you mean?

Alex: you would never apologise for something a year ago

Razor: that was a year ago, this was eleven months ago

Alex: I guess it was too much to hope you stopped being a smart-ass...

Razor: you know it

Wolf girl: there, done, now pay me

Neo: now all you need is a slutty outfit and a crucifix necklace

Wolf girl: screw you

Neo: out of context, that's probably what people would think you just did

Wolf girl: I hate you so much

Neo: what happened to 'love thy neighbour'?

Wolf girl: _you_ happened

Neo: good thing I don't meet people like you in real life

Wolf girl: just wait a bit, it'll happen eventually

Neo: whatever, just take your money and go (holds out five green notes)

Wolf girl: thank you (takes the money)

Half the audience: (confused as hell)

Neo: Aussie money, green is a hundred, yellow is fifty, red is twenty, blue is ten and pink is five, anything lower than that is a coin

Same half of the audience: (now understands)

Amy: this is going to suck

Eggman: who said that? Is someone stuck in my folds again?

Amy: oh god...

Neo: god_s_

Wolf girl: you're lucky the Lord doesn't smite you right now

Neo: which one?

Wolf girl: (growls and glares)

Neo: I'm serious, which one, we've got the Shadow Lord, Blood Lord, pretty sure Fox used to be some sort of Fox Lord, there's the Time Lord-

Alex: the Christian god

Neo: oh yeah...

Wolf girl: I'm going to leave before I strangle you (disappears)

Neo: but I still have material!

Blaze: oh gods...

Neo: thank you

Blaze: I thought jackattack555's story was banned

Neo: it was, but it's still what inspired the original Da Razor Show, so yeah

Blaze: fuck

Neo: terrible language (uses telekinesis to throw Blaze and Charmy into the closet)

Knuckles: … SHIT! (runs off)

Neo: the door is locked

Knuckles: DOUBLE SHIT!

Spike: shit shit?

Alex: shut up

Neo: answer the question

Tikal: I think I can handle this one, the Chao are there to protect the Master Emerald

Neo: aren't the Chao tiny little creatures that can't do anything?

Tikal: when was the last time the Master Emerald was stolen?

Neo: uhh... Sonic Chronicles? Wow... I guess they _are_ good then

Tikal: exactly, besides, I've been teaching them to defend themselves

Neo: aren't you a hippie pacifist?

Tikal: actually no, that is just a stereotype given to me in Fan Fiction stories. I am actually above average in intelligence, and while it is true I love the flora and fauna of the world, I am not a hippie, and I may be a pacifist, but I can still defend myself if the need arises

Neo: huh... you learn something new every day I guess...

Tails: ugh (lying on the floor after being glomped)

Neo: don't you hate when older brothers spoil your fun? (secretly teleports Tails to Blood Lord's room)

Silver: _again?_ Really? (sighs) just get it over with...

Sonic: don't worry Silv, it'll be unpleasant for me as well

Silver: gee, that makes me feel so much better

Neo: that's a good idea Silver

Sonic and Silver: what is?

Neo: you can both remove each other's penises at the same time

Sonic and Silver: … great...

Neo: I thought you'd be rather jubilant

Tikal: oh no! I couldn't!

Shadow: it's a dare

Metal: _you can't say no_

Tikal: ...okay...

Chao: (approaches Tikal)

Chaos: (watches intently)

Tikal: I'm sorry... (gently swats the Chao)

Chao: (starts to cry)

Tikal: oh I'm so so sorry! (huggles the Chao)

Neo: anypony else being reminded of a certain somepony?

Rainbow Dash: yes

Shadow: oh god... the ponies are back...

Metal: _I'll take care of it_ (readies rockets and lasers)

Neo: (teleports Rainbow Dash away)

Metal: _you always spoil my fun_

Neo: shut up

Big: what's intellergant?

Neo: plus one respect point

Big: what does that mean?

Neo: minus three respect points

Big: aww...

Neo: alright, let's just get intell_igent_ and kung-fu Big done with

Alex: you really are a grammar nazi aren't you?

Neo: Nazi needs a capital N

Alex: what...

Neo: you spelled it with a lower case n

Alex: how can you tell how I'm spelling words that I say aloud?

Neo: it's quite obvious that you're not capitalising it

Alex: (sighs) you're getting worse than Spike

Spike: I find that offensive

Neo: oh shit

Spike: what?

Neo: I just realised that my mind is becoming severely fractured

Alex: how so?

Neo: the more fractured my mind becomes, the more fluctuated the world becomes and the less erratic my characters start acting

Spike: are you saying that my recent slippage into sanity is a result of your slippage into the cracks of your own insanity?

Neo: ...SEE?

Spike: heheh

Alex: Spike, stop tormenting the author

Neo: and you!

Alex: me?

Neo: Yes! You started out as the easily annoyed older sister! Now you have a full personality! With your own peeves, interests and quirks!

Alex: I'm not sure what you're trying to say

Neo: that's my whole point!

Alex: it is? I thought it was that you're insane

Neo: that too!

Alex: just stop dwelling on it

Neo: I _can't_

Alex: do it anyway

Neo: I'll try to distract myself, continue working on this chapter later...

Alex: that's better

Neo: it's later

Alex: you were gone for about five minutes

Neo: so I realised how fun being insane is

Alex: oh for the love of god

Neo: god_s_

Alex: this is going to go to complete shit isn't it?

Neo: shit's gonna go down, metaphorical shit is going to hit the metaphorical fan, both of which metaphorically stand for parts of my mind for some triple metaphorical fun

Alex: oh goody...

Neo: starting with a whole bunch of silly wordplay, which in itself is wordplay

Spike: playing with silly words?

Neo: yes!

Spike: awesome!

Eggman and Amy: (disappear)

* * *

_Inside a bizarre manor..._

Eggman: (appears as a woman) what the?

Amy: (appears as a man) hmm... I take it this is the Eggmam part...

Eggma'am: hilarious

Amy: be warned, you're about to die in a very bizarre manner, while inside a bizarre manor

Eggma'am: the wordplay is obvious

Amy: so obvious you could cut it with a knife

Eggma'am so obvious that if my vision were a little better, I'd be able to see it (eyes flash) oh god I can see everything!

Amy: even the wordplay?

Eggma'am: the wordplay is flooding the room!

Amy and Eggma'am: (washed away by an invisible wave of wordplay)

Giant knife: (appears)

Eggma'am: oh god it's going to cut the wordplay!

* * *

_Scene change back to the stage in case any impressionable viewers are reading this..._

Neo: you see? This is the extent of my insanity!

Alex: you really need a god damn therapist

Neo: I'd have them committed

Alex: somehow, that wouldn't surprise me

Neo: or...

Alex: you want me to be your therapist...

Neo: would you?

Alex: no

Sonic: (high pitched voice) it could be our ticket out of here

Alex: if his mind was fixed then none of this would exist, his insanity is what keeps this reality from ceasing to exist

Sonic: then why did you suggest he see a therapist?

Alex: it would fix this reality, but it wouldn't fix his mind

Luna: no it wouldn't

Alex: what do you mean?

Luna: if he were to see a therapist, one of three things could happen: one, and this is the worst case scenario, the therapist is inhumanly good, and completely fixes his mind, two, the therapist fails and is committed himself, with nothing changing, or three, and this could be either the best scenario, or utterly devastating, the therapist fails even worse, and fractures his mind further

Alex: and how probable are each of these choices?

Luna: choice one is about one percent, choice two is about twenty five percent, and choice three is seventy four percent

Alex: we can't let that happen

Luna: I agree

Alex: we must make a promise to never allow that to happen

Luna: let's shake on it (holds out hand)

Alex: deal (shakes hand)

Skye: I'm joining in on this deal

Alex: fine

Luna: the more the merrier

Kai and Phantom: (appear)

Kai: we're in too

Phantom: existence is a rare pleasure

Kai: rare?

Phantom: how many souls exist in the Underworld? How many spermatozoa didn't make it? How many-

Kai: stop, you're fucking depressing

Luna: the sheer numbers...

Skye: so massive...

Phantom: in the past generation alone, over seven trillion souls have been denied existence; going back to the beginning of creation, how many souls have been denied existence is innumerable

Neo: another indicator of how far gone I am, the worse I get, the saner Spike gets and the more cynical Phantom gets

Kai: in that case, let's just give up, we're all fucked already

Neo: all of you are indicators

Alex: good job kitsune

Kai: shut up, bitch

Neo: you two (points at Alex and Kai) the more chilled you become, (points at Spike) the more sane you become, (points at Phantom) the more cynical you become, (points at Razor) the less pig-headed you become

Razor: hey!

Neo: everything is an indicator of my time left

Spike: until what?

Neo: I don't know, but I feel like I only have a few months left, between three and seven

Alex: how convenient...

Neo; what?

Alex: the twenty first of July, and the number directly between three and seven is five, exactly five months from now is the twenty first of December 2012

Neo: holy shit, I need to upload this chapter as soon as possible

Bureizu: what happened to the plot?

Neo: the plot is fucked

Bureizu: what about Espio?

Neo: (summons Espio) there

Shade: seven pages for one set of dares, wow...

_fear my wrath sonic WATER STYLE: WATER PRISON JUTSU  
tails: have some cake oh and get adopted by naruto  
amy: fight blaze for sonic  
shadow: hmm i'm in the mood for some shails so whene tails gets terned back to his proper age DATE HIM!  
rouge: sing "i hate evrything about you" by three days grace to knukles  
sonic: -once he's out of the water prison- do you use steroids?  
cream: let me show fifty of the hundreds of ways i can kill using a stop sing  
cosmo: tails? or kyuubi?  
razor: is it me or do tails and naruto look a bit simerler? not to mention sakura and amy? hell they have the same persinality  
Bureizu: shade. closet. now.  
blaze: fight tsunade, renamon and hermione for the tital of "ULTIMATE FEMALE FIGHTER!"  
tikal: mud fight with sally  
the todd: did the todd hear the start of a mud fight?  
fox: yeah  
the todd: good-idea-five! -high fives fox-_

Sonic: oh for fuck's sake

Tails: (appears) ooh cake! (eats the cake) isn't Naruto that guy that Espio fought earlier?

Naruto: TWO TAILS

Tails: yup

Naruto: and you're not destroying things!

Tails: not most of the time anyway...

Naruto: I will take care of you!

Tails: okay...

Amy: (appears, still taped to Eggman) with Eggman, taped to me, I doubt I'll win

Blaze: I forfeit

Neo: that's no fun...

Blaze: I don't want Sonic anyway

Sonic: aww

Tails: what do you mean proper age?

Neo: I don't even know what age he is right now, let's just say he's his proper age

Shadow: lucky me...

Neo: I detect sarcasm

Shadow: fucking brilliant, let's just go (leaves with Tails)

Rouge: what's Three Days Grace?

Neo: leave. now.

Rouge: okay

Neo: come back

Rouge: damn

Neo: go learn the song (sends her away)

Sonic: (falls out of the water prison) no

Neo: his penis is just naturally that small

Sonic: it was removed earlier so you have no proof

Cream: okay (is teleported to Fox's dojo)

Cosmo: Tails

Neo: really?

Cosmo: yes, now let's continue

Razor: huh... now that you mention it (looks at Tails and Naruto) yeah... (looks at Sakura and Amy) okay this is just kinda creepy now

Bureizu: no

Neo: you can't say no

Bureizu: I am not part of your stupid games

Neo: are the Olympic games stupid?

Bureizu: I don't see how-

Neo: ARE. THE. OLYMPIC. GAMES. STUPID.

Bureizu: no but-

Neo: exactly (throws Bureizu and Shade in the closet)

Tsunade: (appears)

Blaze: (sets her on fire)

Tsunade: (burned to death)

Hermione: (appears) wingardium-

Blaze: ardi (sets her on fire)

Neo: Latin, nice

Renamon: (appears) IFORFEIT!

Blaze: eh?

Renamon: I'm a pacifist

Blaze: really?

Renamon: every Renamon is different

Neo: this is boring me

Tikal: I forfeit

Neo: oh come on!

Minotaur from earlier: and this was a larger set and only took a page and a half

Razor: Neo already explained that he was insane

Minotaur: point

_sonic: fight tikal  
espio: start smoking a pipe  
razor: lern kantonees  
peace out_

Tikal: I forfeit

Neo: it says that he has to fight you, you don't get a say

Tikal: oh no

Sonic: I forfeit

Neo: fuck you

Tikal: thank you

Espio: very well (smokes a pipe)

Razor: oh great, another waste of time...

Minotaur: better get your learn on eh Razor?

Razor: shut up Ton (trudges off to find a Cantonese teacher)

Neo: nine pages... and I destroyed any semblance of a plot... and realised how insane I truly was... I think I actually got all the crazy out of my system for a while

Alex: no you didn't

Neo: on the outside I got the crazy out

Alex: that's more believable, but on the inside, you're worse than ever

Neo: true. This stage is what keeps me from succumbing to the darkness of my corruption completely

Alex: it's also what started the corruption

Neo: it may be true that the stage is what is killing me, but it's also staving off that same death

Alex: this is going to end badly, I just know it

Neo: and before I forget (teleports Tails to Blood Lord's room using a spell that makes it impossible for Fox to find out)

_(A/N) by the way, I am Neo, and this is actually happening, help me_

_P.S. Uploaded with one minute left on the twenty first of July by my time!_

_~Ciao, love and kisses, Dragonfly~_


	14. Episode 14

**Da Razor Show**

**Episode 14**

Neo: I'm better now

Everyone: …

Neo: better-ish...

Everyone: …

Neo: I can control my insanity...

Everyone: (shrugs)

Neo: yeah

_i'm a girl numbnuts  
evreyone but neo: shock neo into a state of half sanity and half insanity a for one or so chapters, and i only wana hug the fluffy not do naughty stuff  
sonic: fight super saiyan 4 goku  
peace out_

Neo: if you're a girl then you should be Blood Lady

Nepezi: like Lady Nepezi?

Neo: ...oh crap it's happening again

Alex: what is going on?

Neo: this is Nepezi, one of my personalities, she's a kitten

Nepezi: kitten extraordinaire

Neo: whatever

Neko: woah...

Neo: oh for fuck's sake

Phantom: you're the wrong personality for that

Neo: oh no

Spike: ooh, a flood of Neo's personalities? I'm there!

Neo: you have no choice, you were one of my first few

Spike: I was?

Neo: until you took on a life of your own, yeah

Nepezi: (curls up on the couch)

Sonic: where did that come from?

Neko: dunno, but it's soft

Neo: all of you, screw off

Neko: you're mean!

Nepezi: mrowr?

Phantom: you can't get rid of me and Spike

Neo: all my other personalities, screw off

Neko: mean meanie-head (walks off sulking)

Nepezi: (goes to sleep)

Neo: (teleports Nepezi away)

Razor: you sure like N don't you?

Neo: what?

Razor: Neo, Naomi, Nepezi, Neko, Nash, Nuck Chorris

Neo: yeah

Razor: but not N

Neo: of course not

Sonic: (reads dare) ooh!

Everyone else: (reads dare) ooh!

Neo: I am above anything involving the word sanity

Sonic: do we still get to zap him?

Neo: you can if you want a Chidori to the face

Sonic: … I am tempted

Neo: I deserve that

Nepezi: something about a fluffy? can I have it?

Neo: how did you get back here?

Nepezi: kitten magic

Neo: ...right...

Nepezi: where's the fluffy?

Neo: Blood, I sent him to your room so Fox wouldn't know, because if I just sent him to your house then Fox would probably see

Nepezi: what does naughty stuff mean?

Neo: (teleports Nepezi away)

Sonic: oh lucky me

Goku: (goes Super Saiyan 4)

Sonic: you know what? I will fight back (goes super)

Goku: (prepares to win)

Sonic: (goes Hyper)

Neo: and Ultra

Sonic: (goes Ultra)

Neo: this will be boring...

Sonic and Goku: (have a battle at LS+)

Alex: LS+?

Neo: faster than light speed

Alex: ah

Sonic: (ends as the victor) surprisingly easy

Neo: you're boring!

Sonic: you're in charge

Spike: you made him win

Neo: I control nothing

Alex: you control everything

Neo: I created some of you, but that was just your appearance, your personalities grew by themselves, I had nothing to do with it

Pyrra: (pokes Neo in the mask)

Neo: (looks at Pyrra)

Pyrra: … (pokes Neo)

Neo: what?

Pyrra: where's Diamond?

Neo: dead

Pyrra: you always say that, and he's always not

Neo: he is this time

Pyrra: you say that every time

Neo: ask DJ

Dragonfly: hmm?

Neo: piss off

Dragonfly: but I'm you

Neo: this is my domain!

Dragonfly: (sticks tongue out, disappearifies)

_sonic: race rainbow dash and pinkie pie  
amy: i don't know uh go and fight nightmare darkness  
tails: your awsome as you know so closet with ranibow dash after she races sonic  
shadow: tern cream into an emo  
eggman: fight froggy  
shade: .now.  
knukles: i dare you to- IS TAHAT THE MASTER EMERALD IN THE KNUKLES FANBOY SECTION? GO SAVE IT!_

Sonic: (still Ultra Sonic) should be difficult... (wins)

Pinkie Pie: (comes second) that was fun let's go again

Rainbow Dash: that's unfair, you two can move faster than light speed

Shadow: the ponies...

Metal: _they're back..._

Both of them: (prepare to fire)

Neo: (puts up a shield)

Shadow: damn

Metal: _foiled again..._

Amy: Nightmare Darkness? Do you mean Nightmare Moon?

Neo: you're a pegasister?

Amy: well, yeah

Shadow: I just lost what little respect I had for you

Amy: you had respect for me?

Shadow: n-no...

Neo: d'aww Shadow's got a crush

Shadow: I will end you

Amy: okay, let's go

Nightmare Moon: no need, for I am already here

Amy: begone foul demon! (attacks NMM with her Piko Piko Hammer)

Nightmare Moon: Hey! Ow! That hurts! Stop it!

Neo: if only the Mane 6 had a hammer...

Nightmare Moon: okay you win! (disappears)

Neo: there's too much winning in this chapter

Spike: winning

Neo: shut up

Tails and Rainbow Dash: (read dare) wut...

Neo: whatever happened to Airis?

Rainbow Dash: you were grounded

Neo: oh yeah... we should really go find her again

Rainbow Dash: yeah...

Neo: but for now, closet time!

Rainbow Dash: can I at least have a drink first?

Neo: like with Airis?

Rainbow Dash: that was caused by the alcohol, this will be so I don't remember it

Neo: sounds reasonable (drenches Rainbow Dash in Applejacks)

Rainbow Dash: is the wordplay really necessary?

Neo: yes

Rainbow Dash: fine (starts drinking)

Neo: and for anyone who doesn't get it, Applejack is a friend of Rainbow Dash, but Applejacks is an alcoholic beverage

Spike: yes we all got it, except the stupid anti-bronies (points at Shadow and Metal)

Shadow: we can't be the only ones

Sonic: I don't care much for ponies, but I'm not against them

Metal: _what about the idiot?_

Knuckles: …

Shadow: not you too

Knuckles: ...they have very valuable lessons...

Rainbow Dash: (stumbling around) ookaay, m'ready

Tails: oh lucky me (enters closet)

Neo: (helps Rainbow Dash into the closet)

Shadow: are you trying to start something Fox?

Metal: _he already started it_

Shadow:after I'm done with this dare, I'm coming for you

Metal: _just convince her she's unloved, I hear mortals are especially fond of love_

Shadow: that's not a bad idea

Cream: (skips over) hello Mister Shadow!

Shadow: get away from me

Cream: huh?

Shadow: no-one loves you

Cream: but what about my mother?

Shadow: not even Vanilla loves you, how many games has she appeared in which she was actually concerned about you?

Cream: well... um...

Shadow: exactly

Cream: but... she has to love me...

Shadow: no-one has to love you, which is evidenced by the fact that no-one does

Cream: (starts crying) you're mean Mister Shadow

Shadow: if you think I'm mean, you should hear what everyone else thinks of you

Cream: (runs off crying)

Neo: that was painful to watch

Sonic: that was horrible

Amy: worst thing I've ever seen

Metal: _good job_

Eggman: ohoho, this should be an easy fight

Froggy: ribbit

Eggman: (punches Froggy)

Big: _YOU HURT FROGGY!_ (turns into a giant demon)

Eggman: oh dear

Big: (starts ripping Eggman apart)

Froggy: ribbit

Shade: what?

Neo: now

Shade: what now?

Neo: now

Shade: it just says now, what am I supposed to do?

Neo: you're supposed to now

Shade: now isn't even a verb

Neo: who cares? you have to do it

Shade: (sigh) wait! (writes in a k)

Neo: (reads it) know?

Shade: exactly!

Neo: so now you have to know?

Shade: precisely, and know is a verb! so now I just need to figure out what I'm supposed to know...

Neo: maybe... I got nothing

Shade: aha! I now know what it says!

Neo: and that is your final answer?

Shade: it is!

Neo: well that's wrong, we're going to have to ask Fox what it's meant to say

Shade: but it'd be so much better to just know something than to do whatever now

Neo: well once you know what it says, the dare will be done, and then you can do whatever it says as celebration

Shade: I get the feeling it won't be very celebratory

Neo: deal with it

Shade: I don't have much choice do I?

Neo: not really

Knuckles: no, it's not, that's just a prop, I've learned to spot the differences

Sonic: what differences?

Knuckles: when someone takes the real Master Emerald, Angel Island falls down

Sonic: (looks out window) it's fallen

Knuckles: what!? (looks out window) aha! this is just a painting (moves painting) see, it's still up

Sonic: but that's also a painting

Spike: I was practising...

Knuckles: (moves painting) ...shit! (dives into the fanboy section)

Spike: should I tell him I painted three paintings?


	15. Chapter 15

**Da Razor Show**

**Episode 15**

Neo: quick guy shoot me in the face!

Spike: (emotionlessly shoots Neo in the face)

Sonic: best start to an episode yet

Neo: (pushes Sonic over)

_fine i changed my name blood lady makes more sense  
sonic: rouge. closet. now  
uh thats all i got oh no wait  
rouge: how many STD's do uoi have?_

Neo: yeah that does make more sense

Sonic: ugh fine...

Razor: wait, let them read the next one first

Neo: how deliciously evil of you

Razor: … that was really creepy...

Neo: I know

Rouge: none

Everyone else: (laughs)

Rouge: you're all the ones who make me out to be a whore! I never have been and never will be!

Shade: but you _are_ a whore...

Rouge: (glares) … sixty eight (disappears into the closet with Sonic)

Neo: oh dear

Tails: what?

Neo: Fox used Confusion

_shadow: you must watch all the MLP:FIM episodes  
tails: marry the mane six, princess celistia, and princess luna  
metal sonic: fight discord  
sonic: yiff rouge, blaze and amy in the closet  
cosmo: swap bodies with cream  
then i want the following pepall to swap bodies  
princess celistia-blaze  
rainbow dash-tails  
applejack-twilight sparkle  
pinkie pie-rouge  
knukles-omega  
silver-shadow  
spike-princess luna  
alex-neo_

Spike: it's super effective

Shadow: NOOO(disappears)

Tails: I'm underage

Neo: … (slaps Tails) you're going to be a double king

Tails: uhh...

Neo: I now pronounce you colt and mares

Tails: uhh...

Rainbow Dash: I think I'm starting to dislike when I come here...

Rarity: oh how dreadful...

Twilight: as long as it doesn't interfere with my studies...

Pinkie: Oh does this mean we get to have a wedding _party_!?

Fluttershy: umm... okay...

AJ: (shrug) an extra pair of hooves could help on Sweet Apple Acres

Luna: **this displeases us**- I mean me...

Celestia: I've never seen a fox this size, or with two tails...

Tails: uhh...

Metal: _please tell me I'm not dealing with ponies _

Neo: uhh, not exactly?

Metal: (glares, disappears)

_Random game-show place..._

Discord: welcome our latest guest! Metal Sonic!

Metal: (appears) _My name is Ini- I mean Metal Sonic. You annoy me. Prepare to die._

Discord: oh, this should be a treat!

Metal: (starts shooting lasers and rockets)

Lasers: (turn into silly string)

Rockets: (comically explode into red and yellow shapes with the word 'BOOM' inside)

Metal: _I believe my comprehension chip just melted..._

Discord: my turn? Alright (turns Metal into a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man)

Metal: ..._this is demeaning and horrible, initiating self-destruct sequence..._

_Back at the stage..._

Sonic: (emerges from the closet) phew

Amy: (pushes him back in) let's get this over with (follows him)

Blaze: Fox, just for me, could you not do something like this next chapter? Or at least not one involving me? (follows them)

Cream: huh, I don't remember her wearing all black, or having bloody wrists...

Silver: oh yeah, I did that

Pinkie: (looks herself over) I kind of feel bad for this poor girl

Tails: is it just me or do I sound pretty much the same?

Celestia: … thank you Fox...

Alex: never thought I'd hear someone say that

Rainbow Dash: pretty sure I've said it a few times

Neo: I have the power now

Alex: shit

Neo: I can get us out of here

Omega: _do it!_

Applejack: (shrugs) I can still study like this

Twilight: hey Twi, fair warnin, but your hooves might hurt when we switch back

Applejack: why?

Twilight: I still got a quota to fill

Applejack: just use my magic

Twilight: no idea how

Knuckles: I have the strangest feeling that I should jump into the fanboy pit...

Luna: there are so many ways I can abuse these powers

Spike: don't you dare abuse my power

Luna: you're probably going to abuse mine, whether you mean to or not

Spike: you have powers?

Luna: yes, I do

Silver: (goes wide-eyed) I have psychic powers now...

Alex: your point is?

Luna & Spike: (start floating) uh oh...

Celestia & Blaze: (glare at Silver)

Silver: what?

Celestia: (sends Silver flying)

Blaze: (sets him on fire)

Silver: (shrugs) not my body

Spike: (hugs Celestia) thank you sister

Celestia: actually, I'm not her, she's in my body there (points at Blaze)

Spike: oh, this is all very confusing

Celestia: you can say that again

Alex: I did say Fox used Confusion

Luna: and I said it was super effective

Neo: (teleports nearly everyone away) I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh well (disappears)

_Backstage..._

Shadow: Look here, are three little ponies, ready to sing for this crowd, listen up, cuz here's our story, I'm gonna sing it very LOUD

_(A/N) Sorry for the short chapter... wait... I have, like, two readers... do I really need to apologise?_


End file.
